Starting as a silly throwaway blog title one Tuesday back in 2007, Shoe Tuesday has grown to become a global phenomenon to rival the Bungee Disco, Skittle-Knack Karaoke or even Strawberry Buddhism.

I’d like to say thanks to everyone who enjoyed the wild ride we’ve had, and in particular to those readers from far and wide have joined in the fun by faxing, hand-delivering or psychically transmitting images of quirky shoes. If I didn’t use the images you sent then I’m very sorry about that- it doesn’t mean they weren’t interesting or funny, just that I couldn’t think of anything interesting or funny to say about them.

Whilst I will not be doing Shoe Tuesday any more, this does not mean the end.

No no my friend. For if we all keep Shoe Tuesday in our hearts, it will never truly die.

(Although just to be clear again, I am killing it)

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For this last episode then, let’s all put our ST tie clips on one last time, do the ST hand-jive, wind up the music box and listen one more time to that Shoe Tuesday music.

Emma and I threw a bit of a leaving party at the weekend, and as you can imagine- everyone who is anyone was there (except WoAi, the enormous woofter). Turning out in full effect to support the cause was Jake Newby, resplendent in a tuxedo with genuine satin bowtie…and Feiyue trainers.

Nice work Jake, you terrible, terrible pikey.

It is however, hard to beat H’s (Dingle’s much much better half) contribution.

Check out these ever-so-respectful Michael Jackson tribute bootees.

What more fitting homage could there be to the King of Pop than a pair of Ugg boots plastered with a collage of his photos? Dressed up in a farmboy outfit, photoshopped into an image of Uncle Sam, headlines from the various sexual abuse court cases- it’s all here in glorious colour.

Rumours of similar footwear limited editions featuring Lady Diana, Mother Teresa and victims of the Holocaust could not be confirmed at the time of going to press.

And THAT’s the END OF THAT!

• The Greatest Shoes I Have Ever Seen* (12 comments)
• The Famous Shoe Tuesday (28 comments)
• Suzhou Tuesday (9 comments)

My brother Andrew is just a few years older than me and we’re very close- hang out together whenever we get the chance, talk on the phone when I get drunk, I was best man at his wedding etc.

Andrew had a baby girl in September last year and I’ve only seen her a handful of times since then, so I’ve missed a lot of stuff.

Apparently she’s walking now, dancing too, so I’m hoping that I’ll get to see her take these bad boys for a test drive.

They’re a kind of shoes I’ve only ever seen in asia- with a squeaker in the bottom that’s triggered when you walk. It’s kind of a safety feature I guess, since the toddler can toddle off on their own and you’ll hear when they’ve gone to far or fallen over. But it’s also just the cutest thing when you hear them walking off:

squeak……squeak……squeak
<Hey look! A bird!>
SQUEAK!SQUEAK!SQUEAK!SQUEAK!
<oh it’s gone>
squeak………squeak……

I think they’re cool anyway.

Hey wait a minute, I hope Eve isn’t reading this though, it’ll ruin the surprise.

• First time here? (58 comments)
• And on that bombshell (59 comments)
• The Greatest Shoes I Have Ever Seen* (12 comments)

They got him to jump up fancy, took a photo, stuck it on a few pairs of shoes and boom! Mazooma in the bank.

Air Jordan 

If my favourite Chinese trainer- FeiYue ever want to make the leap* from cheap canvas plimsoll to a major sporting brand, they’re going to need similar brand recognition.

Based on the kind of people who wear FeiYue right now, I’d say their main options for a Jordan-style tie-in logo are:

1) Manual labourers digging a ditch

Air Gong Ren

b) ironic indie-rocking hipsters

Air Studied Pose 

or… iii) awesome kung-fu kicking monks from the planet DoubleHard.

Air I’m lying on a bunch of spears and what are you going to do about it?

Don’t believe that Kung-Fu monks wear FeiYue? Wendi sent me a bunch of photos to prove it.

Back up the money trucks, we have a winner.

[Thanks Wendi!]

• The Greatest Shoes I Have Ever Seen* (12 comments)
• The Famous Shoe Tuesday (28 comments)
• Suzhou Tuesday (9 comments)

Me and Emma are going to live in Manchester, we leave on December 7th*.

It’s been a great three years, and just feels like the right time to leave for me.

*So that means you’ve got 3 more Shoe Tuesdays

• Squeaky Shoe Tuesday (6 comments)
• First time here? (58 comments)
• The Greatest Shoes I Have Ever Seen* (12 comments)

Shoe Tuesday

Shoooooooee Tuuuuuueeeesdayy

See?

Anyway, best crack on.

This is my favourite photo of late:

Not one, but two sets of plastic bags on her feet- protecting what I think were waterproof wellies anyway. Not only that but her hair is scary, witchy long.

Man alive hair like that creeps me out. I always assume the girl is saving it for food in case she’s ever trapped in an elevator. And that is not a pleasant thought on any level.

One thing we’ve learned here at Shoe Tuesday is that 67% of readers are tuning in for one reason and one reason only: PHOTOS OF GIRLS (WHO ARE MOST LIKELY PROSTITUTES) WEARING HIGH HEELS!

Well if that’s what you’re after, click the link below. Lawrence and T have been hard at work on the streets of Shanghai and Vietnam (the girl wearing perspex heels in the mud is outside the Cu Chi tunnels near Saigon). Many delights await you within.

View Full Album

• Shoe Tuesday…is not that kind of feature (18 comments)
• The Greatest Shoes I Have Ever Seen* (12 comments)
• The Famous Shoe Tuesday (28 comments)

It’s so confusing that this morning I saw someone wearing summer shorts, a wifebeater vest and long thermal underwear. I’d show you a photo of him, but this is Tuesday. We look at shoes here on Tuesday, always have.

So here’s a similar confused young lady- riding line 2 in her summer flip-flops but beating the sudden cold snap with wooly socks. 

You might laugh now, but it’s the kind of quick thinking that we’re all going to need when the apocalypse comes.

• 2008 (3 comments)
• The Greatest Shoes I Have Ever Seen* (12 comments)
• The Famous Shoe Tuesday (28 comments)

It’s a wild ride my friend, so come with me now, step into my weekly world of shoes….

This week I received a letter through the electronic mail.

Dear Dr Swiss

as we all know, the hot look that’s wowing the fashion world right now is the Shanghainese Street Sweeper.

I’ve got my faded blue coveralls, the hair full of cigarette ash and have grown my little fingernail to the required 3 inches. When it comes to the shoes though, I have hit a major snafu.

Me and Kate Moss were shopping down at Carrefour when we bought what we thought were genuine FeiYue shoes, and yet something doesn’t feel right with them. Have I bought fakes?

Help me Dr Swiss, you’re my only hope.

Mackers.

xx

Well Mackers- firstly, you’ve come to the right place (so that’s good news), however you have bought fakes (so that’s bad news). Do you know what though, when it comes to that funky oppressed Chinese peasant look- what could be more authentic than fakes? They’re probably rarer than the real thing too.

For the best selection of the real thing (including some one-off custom jobs) head down to Culture Matters on Dongping Lu (near Henghsan Lu- opposite Vargas Grill). For the fakes- head down to the docks and look for a guy with a wheelbarrow full of nail clippers, pan scrubbers, and shoes that say “FeiYin”.

Real uns down at Culture Matters

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Pink shoes for girls are awesome- there’s no argument there. Especially if they look like you made them by cutting a pattern out of a magazine and stapling some laces on the front.

Rock. On.

But pink shoes for boys? You’d think it wouldn’t work, but look-a-look-a

Pink Pony high tops- it’s a strong, strong look for the autumn, remember to leave the top two holes undone to show off a little ankle for the ladies.

Shortly after I took this photo the guy wearing them downed a bottle of whisky, knocked out a horse with one punch, then french-kissed a girl whilst definitely not thinking about sailors in crisp white uniforms.

View Full Album

• The Greatest Shoes I Have Ever Seen* (12 comments)
• The Famous Shoe Tuesday (28 comments)
• Suzhou Tuesday (9 comments)

Now when you first looked at this image, what did you see? I can’t tell if it’s an odd piece of political commentary, or just a bad stencil job.

Sadly I didn’t spot this one, my friend Charlie did, so I can’t confirm whether the other shoe looks like a cross between Nelson Mandela and Attila the Hun.

• The Greatest Shoes I Have Ever Seen* (12 comments)
• The Famous Shoe Tuesday (28 comments)
• Suzhou Tuesday (9 comments)

When that dark day happens here are three alternatives:

Shoes that say “I L <crown> VE Shanghai”

Pros: Excellent ankle protection against shopping trolleys and sniper fire.

Cons: Ugly as sin, make you look like a golf club.

Ying Yang Shoes

Pros: Buddhists believe

“Maitri or Metta in Pali (Loving Kindness) and Karuna (Compassion) to all living beings including animals”

and since these shoes aren’t leather- you’ll have Pali coming out of your ying-yang

Cons: Shoes appear to have been a pile of wet laundry in a previous life.

Electrician safety shoes

Pros: Protection from faulty cables up to a maximum of 250Kw, assuming dry conditions.

Cons: You don’t think they actually work do you?

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