ISpyShanghai

As much as I enjoy slaving over a hot camera to bring you the latest in kitten heels, radical lace configurations, and flip-flop-technology, sometimes I have to throw the floor open to the hoi polloi: readers shoes.

First up we’ve got the latest from the former colonies as a young chap
who refuses to be named1!11! spotted this delightful 1970s sofa / stack heel hybrid at a Jason Mraz concert.

Mr Mraz (if you’ve not heard him, imagine Savage Garden wearing a cool hat)
“is extremely popular with Asian girls, most of whom were shod in the below fashion“.

And boy, if there’s one thing we know about fashion, it’s that where Asian Australian girls lead, the world will surely follow.

Next up comes Lawrence from Computer Solutions, a fine IT company who promise* not to send the naked photos they find of you on your laptop to the newspapers.

Lawrence saw this gladiator bondage sandal at a recent fashionable event for fashionable people, and if the shoe doesn’t raise your eyebrow, the nail polish surely will, hold tight:
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I’m going to start from the mildly interesting and build up. By the end of this post, parts of you will explode.

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So my girlfriend is pretty pleased with herself at the moment- she’s done what appears to be the female equivalent of riding a jetskiing over Niagra Falls whilst slam dunking a basketball.

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The way I figure it, a shoe on the feet is worth three in the shop.

So here’s three shoe-related things I’ve seen for sale recently.

A t-shirt with high-heels on it.

I’m not sure whose job it is to sew the sequins and flowery bits on the shirt like that, but I bet they hate rich people.

Shoe vase- ideal for putting flowers in.
Well not ideal, as the hole is very narrow and the thing would topple over every few minutes. But, you know, semi-useful.

I call this one “Spring Fever”- do you get it?

These things are supposed to give you a work out whilst you wear them. Presumably most of the work is running away from the angry villagers who are trying to burn you as a Warlock.

Ugly as hell, and expensive at over 2,000RMB (from the top floor of Gubei Carrefour).
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<cue Shoe Tuesday music>

(it’s been a while hasn’t it?)

First up are a pair of furry high heels. 

These were for sale in an enormous shop on Fuxing Lu. Don’t ask me for the full address, or how much the shoes were; I stormed out in a rage after the lady there suggested I try on a pair of 38 inch shorts.

Thirty eight inches?! On my slender frame?! I should have burnt the place to the ground!

Anyhoo Emma tried them on but decided were ever-so-slightly too small.

Next up is a dapper young lady (can women be “dapper”?) I saw at the airport. She was striding ahead of me in this whole 101 Dalmatians style outfit so I had to run ahead of her, wait at the entrance to the Maglev, then get her as she swanned past me.

I bet she’s a nightmare girlfriend, but the spotty shoes and skirt are cool.

May the record show that I managed to publish the above photo without making a 

“And here’s one I SPOTTED earlier“

type pun your honour.

Shoe Tuesday out.

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At great personal risk and expense I’ve managed to obtain security footage from a Shanghai municipal leisure centre to answer that age-old question:

What do fancy Shanghainese girls wear to play Badminton?

The findings are shocking:

Raw video feed:

Enhanced footage (many thanks to my robotic talking car for this one:

6 inch platform wedges. I’m told she didn’t play very well.

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The overnight train from Shanghai to Beijing is always pretty plush, but with the new D trains it’s almost like a little capsule hotel.

In the soft sleeper class (about 680-720RMB one way) you get your own TV with headphones, a reading light, enough space to comfortably lie flat, and….

Since you’ve got four people all sharing maybe 2 square metres of floor space in the carriage, it’s actually pretty useful to know which one is your colour. Also it’s fun to have a fist-fight to the death over the blue ones.

I tell you what we haven’t had for a while, SHOE BAGS!

Here are a couple from some Nigerian fashion blog called Bella Najia. Apparently these things are big on the streets of –insert the name of a town in Nigeria here–.

One of these women is in "Desperate Housewives". I think it's the one on the bottom right.

And from my own eagle eye- here are a couple of horrors from Bangkok.

Forget Swine Flu, the next global pandemic is Shoebag Fever*!