ISpyShanghai

Back in the summer I wrote about some very expensive apples in the Freshmart supermarket, Jing-An.

Well since then we had that whole financial apocalypse and everyone tightened their belts a little.

Oh wait no, the price actually went up.

On my birthday I received, from notorious internet japemongerer Dingle, one of these space-gold-apples.

We had the bar staff cut it up and passed it around the table.

It tasted pretty much like a normal apple, except a bit more floury and dry. I don’t remember suddenly developing the ability to fly or shoot lasers out of my fingertips, so you’d have to conclude they’re not really worth the money. In fact there were a few slices left when we moved on to the next bar.

Five apples in a cardboard box: 998RMB (about 150USD, 90GBP)

Look mum- no people!

If you’re quick, and I mean really quick, you might catch some pleasant weather in Shanghai.

Since we’re no longer in the oppressive heat of the summer, and the grey drudge of Winter hasn’t started yet, it must be Autumn- a perfect time for hanging out at a park.

Autumn

Gongqing Park- not just for latino wedding photos

The biggest park that I know of is called GongQing Forest Park, in Yangpu district- so big it’s almost a forest, and one of the few places in the city you can walk on grass without an old man shouting at you.

It’s miles from anywhere, so you need to make a decision- 60RMB in a taxi took us from Jing-An, over the Suzhou creek, past Shanghai Circus World, and up to the gates of the park. Alternatively there’s supposed to be a bus that goes from People’s Square to the park:

Tourist Line 8
An alternative ring line to Tourist Line 7 that takes in a number of the city’s major sights.

Route: Shanghai Stadium <—> People’s Square <—> The Bund <—> Heping Park <—> Yangpu Park <—> Gongqing Forest Park <—> Shanghai Stadium

Operating Time: 6:30 – 19:00
Frequency: every 30 minutes
Price: CNY3
Tel: 021-64265989

http://www.travelchinaguide.com/cityguides/shanghai/transportation/town-bus.htm

As for the train- well The Man is supposed to be building Metro line 17 which will end right at the park, but construction is currently scheduled to start some time between 2010 and the third age of Aquarius, so don’t hold your breath.

Once you’re there it’s time to kick off your shoes, walk through quiet paths amongst the tall trees, play frisbee, fly kites, have a BBQ, play mini-golf (Emma won, but I don’t want to talk about it), ride a miniature train, or just appreciate the quiet and nice weather as the leaves change colour.

GongQing Forest Park
Yangpu District-

Entrance is 15RMB for adults, free for Munchkins under 1.2m.
More details here

Picked up the keys to my new home yesterday, in these credit crunch times I’m having to move somewhere a little cheaper (still in Jing-An though, obviously!). 

I’m moving to a lane house (not an apartment) where I’ll sleep at street level- maybe I should get some ear plugs for the new year fireworks, it’s going to be a lot noisier than the 35th floor apartment where I am now.

A Petrol Station, yesterday

On the upside, I’ll be further away from the petrol station in this photo. It’s only going to take one stray firecracker for that place to blow up- warning sign or no warning sign.

(Note for the new: I live in an area of Shanghai called Jing-An)

Whilst I had a wonderful Christmas season in England, it was good to get back to Shanghai- after all, as the old saying goes Jing-An make us much warmer and fragranter.

Some people say that Jing-An isn’t central in Shanghai, that it’s a little too far north to be amongst the good bar and restaurant action. What these people forget is that the melody of civilization is singing from here. 

And they’d do well to remember that.

Fools.

I’ve bought some horrible stuff at Shanghai’s various fabric markets. Shiny blue jackets that I’ll never wear, an ice-white linen suit that saw a brief outing at one of Dingle’s fashionable BBQs, and numerous pairs of trousers that developed holes at just the wrong place and time.

Still though, winter is coming up and I can’t be seen wearing last year’s coat- what would the neighbours say?

Here then is my timely guide to getting a good price at the Fabric market:

Act like you’re not bothered
Only suckers act like they really want to have a suit made, suckers who get ripped off. You really haven’t decided whether you’re going to buy today, maybe you’ll buy a hamburger instead.

This is a hard act to pull off when you’re specifying fabrics, number of buttons, extra-crotch reinforcing etc. so pretend to treat all decisions hypothetically;

“Assuming I was looking for a jacket, then maybe I’d like you to copy this one that I’ve brought all the way across town in a plastic bag.

Perhaps I would want you to make the waist slightly bigger, because it’s possible that I eat a lot of mashed potato and gravy at KFC“

Subtly imply that you don’t have much money

“You don’t need to make the pockets very big, usually all I carry is a bus pass and some stale rice“

Speak Chinese
The more the better, but at the very least you need to manage a passable ”Aiyo!” when the first tentative prices are being floated around. Extra bonus points are added for a

“Tai gui le!” (too expensive!)
or a
“Wo bu shi ri ben ren!!!” (”I’m not Japanese!”)

If you’re white / otherly foreign, then speaking Chinese is basically a way of saying that you’re not a tourist, and it also gives the stall holders something fun to laugh about when your back is turned.

and a free health check too

Speak Shanghainese
Slightly more tricky to pull off, but expat wisdom suggests that whilst stupid old whitey always pays more than the Chinese, out of towners also pay less more than anyone who can speak Taxi-driver talk.
(fixed 30th Oct, ta Liam)

Don’t blink first
Market stall holders can spot a sucker at 30 paces, but if you’re following the steps above it’s going to take them a bit longer to work out what kind of sucker you are.

Prolong their realisation by point-blank refusing to name a price that you want to pay. Let them name a price (which you should find both hilarious and horrifying) and have them come down a couple of notches first.

Ideally you should have the clothes hanging up in your wardrobe at home, with patches of wear beginning to show from a few seasons of regular rotation before you call up the tailor and make your first low ball offer.

Remember: stay vigilant at all times

Do the walk off. (But not that walk off)
Everyone knows the old walk-away-in-disgust technique- where the stall holder is supposed to chase after you in tears begging you to come back and pay whatever small coins you have in your pocket.

Maybe it’ll work, maybe it won’t- but there are few things more embarassing than doing the walk off and then having to come back shamefaced because you can’t find another stall that’s willing to make a lace girdle for a 30 year old man.

If you do decide to go this direction, then pretend that you’re breaking up with someone. It’s not them, it’s you, you want to think things over, you can’t help thinking that somewhere out there is a piece with better quality, a cheaper price, or sleeve buttons that actually fasten (hmm, this metaphor needs some work).

Finally

Always remember that the following phrases have no meaning whatsoever and should be ignored:

• “Friend price”
• Final offer
• Ohh handsome!
• Where are you from? Oh I like England/USA/Botswana very much!
• Please put underwear back on! Do not touch fabric like that!

There are two main fabric markets in Shanghai:

South Bund Soft Spinning Materials Market
399 Lujiabang Lu (near Nanpu Bridge)

Shiliupu Material Shopping Market
Dongmen Lu near Zhonghua Lu

I’ve been into the idea of timelapse photography for a while now- ever since I saw this cool video by a fellow Shanghai expat called Lifemage.

You take a series of photos every so often, then string them together to make a movie clip at 24 frames per second (or whatever). Time is sped up, everything moves fast, flowers bloom before your eyes, fruit rots as you watch, people gasp in astonishment.

The idea has been around forever but what with digital cameras, the Internet, smokeless fuels and the Macarena now freely available, anyone can have a go.

Sitting around pressing the shutter every minute for 16 hours is a bit of a pain though so on Monday I bought a battery pack for my camera to do the timing automatically. I set it up on the balcony and recorded the sun setting over the grey sky West of Jing-An.

Not bad for a first try, if a bit murky.

Now I know how to do it, I’m thinking about making a clip of my journey to work, the sun rise out of the back window of my place, Nanjing Dong Lu pedestrians, me drinking a whole bottle of Rum, the decline of Western Civilisation- the possibilities are endless(ish).

Geeks-only information below. Click if you want, but no complaining

Are you looking for a hotel in Shanghai? Here are some tips from a guy who lives there.

The most common mistake people make in Shanghai is getting a hotel near the Pearl Tower because- hey, that’s the centre of town right?

WRONG.

You can take a compass and draw a circle half a mile around the Pearl Tower and find absolutely nothing worth seeing. Say it once with me: Pudong is not the centre of town.

If you have some kind of disease where you can’t cross rivers, and so HAVE to stay in Pudong, then forget the famous Grand Hyatt with it’s stupidly high rooms (giving you views of nothing but clouds 3/4 of the time) and go for the Shangri-La instead.

The view is much better (up close and personal with the Pearl Tower, all the way from the tip of the Bund to the flying roofs of Yu Yuan), the hotel restaurant Jade On 36 is incredible, and it’s close to the subway when you realise that everything good is over the water in Puxi.

Once you cross the river into the cool part of town, it is possible to stay right on the Bund so you can still see your precious Pearl Tower- try Astor House- a grand old hotel where Charlie Chaplin, Bertrand Russel and (dead President) Ulysses S. Grant all stayed.

It’s kind of old and maybe won’t have a pillow menu, but wouldn’t you trade that in to say you stayed in Einstein’s old room?
Good value too- $100 per night, or thereabouts.

For a cheap hotel in the Shanghai city center you could do a lot worse than the Bailemen. Right next door to a buddhist temple (Jing-An) directly on Nanjing Road (the main shopping street of Shanghai), it’s a 2 minute stroll to a major subway station, close to shopping, bars, restaurants etc. and is about 70$ per night.

Alternatively the Green Tree Inn is a 7 minute walk from the same subway station / temple. It’s on a quieter street, but still with plenty of stuff- for example a nice cafe called Waga’s opened up almost opposite the place. The Green Tree is right around the corner from a new trendy boutique hotel (URBN) but a fraction of the price at about $45 a night.

If you’ve got business around the Xu Jia Hui area then I stayed in the Jianguo Hotel for a month and it’s the best place in the area. Very convenient for the subway, a cake shop in reception, and mere steps away from the joy that is Harley’s bar.

If you want to imagine you’re not in a city at all but a peaceful country garden, then the Rui-Jin Hotel has all of that, and a couple of nice bars in the same complex too.

Here’s a fun sign:

Now let’s have a quiz

[poll=4]

Obviously you have to vote before you look at the “Read More…” bit below otherwise you’re a cheat and a scoundrel.

I won’t know if you’ve cheated, but you will and how will you feel then?

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