ISpyShanghai

view from the top of the Buddha- click for larger version.

The Big Buddha at Lingshan is big. Seated on a mountain surronded by lush countryside, he casts his bronzen smile for miles around.

The closest town is Wuxi- I guess the Wuxians built this thing to attract the tourists, and boy does it work. One tour guide we spoke to reckoned there would be 30-40,000 people visiting on the day we were there.

The entrance fee is 150. No wonder he’s smiling. 

For their money, the assembled throng get a nice walk up to the statue, with various prayer wheels and minor attractions to keep them busy.

At several times during the day, music starts and a large column in the middle of the park starts rotating.

View Full Album

The flower slowly opens, a baby emerges and water sprays over his head. The Sistine Chapel looks pretty shoddy in comparison.

And as for the guy who commented he’d like to see Buddha versus the Statue of Liberty- well here’s a scale reproduction;

Scale model- Lady Liberty with base = 93m, the Buddha tops out at 88m. Place your bets…

Continuing my cut-out-and-keep guide to the parks of Shanghai…

On Saturday the weather was so glorious- so good in fact that the government set off huge air raid sirens to make sure everyone was out of bed and enjoying the blue skies.

Leaping out of bed I grabbed a kite and a camera and headed to Zhongshan Park in the West of the city. Zhongshan Park is named after Sun Yat Sen, but that’s not why I go there- I go because it’s on line number 2 just a few stops from my house, you can play on the grass and they have boats to ride around the lake. It’s ace.

The main problem with the park- other than the fact there are another 10,000 people crammed into it, is that it attracts a lot of amateur opera singers. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not Operaphobic- what they choose to do in the privacy of their own theaters is up to them. But when they set up amplifiers and blast that nonsense into what would be a beautiful peaceful afternoon?
It makes you weep for the future.

Second on the list of annoyances at Zhongshan are the kite know-alls. Since 1985 there is a by-law in Shanghai that any foreigner attempting to fly a kite within the city limits must have a minimum of 4 middle-aged Chinese guys telling them why they’re doing it all wrong.

At Zhongshan park there are always 5 or 6 younger guys taking photos of the ensuing tantrums as Emma snatches the kite reel back from some guy and shouts

it’s not your fun, it’s our fun! Stop bothering us!

Anyways, there are lots of places to get snacks around the park- you can watch kids practising rollerblading, slightly older kids practising Kung-fu moves, play frisbee or buy a 7 inch rabbit in a 6 inch    cage.

Zhongshan Park
Zhongshan Park metro station, line 2
Entrance free, open while the sun shines

Look mum- no people!

If you’re quick, and I mean really quick, you might catch some pleasant weather in Shanghai.

Since we’re no longer in the oppressive heat of the summer, and the grey drudge of Winter hasn’t started yet, it must be Autumn- a perfect time for hanging out at a park.

Autumn

Gongqing Park- not just for latino wedding photos

The biggest park that I know of is called GongQing Forest Park, in Yangpu district- so big it’s almost a forest, and one of the few places in the city you can walk on grass without an old man shouting at you.

It’s miles from anywhere, so you need to make a decision- 60RMB in a taxi took us from Jing-An, over the Suzhou creek, past Shanghai Circus World, and up to the gates of the park. Alternatively there’s supposed to be a bus that goes from People’s Square to the park:

Tourist Line 8
An alternative ring line to Tourist Line 7 that takes in a number of the city’s major sights.

Route: Shanghai Stadium <—> People’s Square <—> The Bund <—> Heping Park <—> Yangpu Park <—> Gongqing Forest Park <—> Shanghai Stadium

Operating Time: 6:30 – 19:00
Frequency: every 30 minutes
Price: CNY3
Tel: 021-64265989

http://www.travelchinaguide.com/cityguides/shanghai/transportation/town-bus.htm

As for the train- well The Man is supposed to be building Metro line 17 which will end right at the park, but construction is currently scheduled to start some time between 2010 and the third age of Aquarius, so don’t hold your breath.

Once you’re there it’s time to kick off your shoes, walk through quiet paths amongst the tall trees, play frisbee, fly kites, have a BBQ, play mini-golf (Emma won, but I don’t want to talk about it), ride a miniature train, or just appreciate the quiet and nice weather as the leaves change colour.

GongQing Forest Park
Yangpu District-

Entrance is 15RMB for adults, free for Munchkins under 1.2m.
More details here

I’ve bought some horrible stuff at Shanghai’s various fabric markets. Shiny blue jackets that I’ll never wear, an ice-white linen suit that saw a brief outing at one of Dingle’s fashionable BBQs, and numerous pairs of trousers that developed holes at just the wrong place and time.

Still though, winter is coming up and I can’t be seen wearing last year’s coat- what would the neighbours say?

Here then is my timely guide to getting a good price at the Fabric market:

Act like you’re not bothered
Only suckers act like they really want to have a suit made, suckers who get ripped off. You really haven’t decided whether you’re going to buy today, maybe you’ll buy a hamburger instead.

This is a hard act to pull off when you’re specifying fabrics, number of buttons, extra-crotch reinforcing etc. so pretend to treat all decisions hypothetically;

“Assuming I was looking for a jacket, then maybe I’d like you to copy this one that I’ve brought all the way across town in a plastic bag.

Perhaps I would want you to make the waist slightly bigger, because it’s possible that I eat a lot of mashed potato and gravy at KFC“

Subtly imply that you don’t have much money

“You don’t need to make the pockets very big, usually all I carry is a bus pass and some stale rice“

Speak Chinese
The more the better, but at the very least you need to manage a passable ”Aiyo!” when the first tentative prices are being floated around. Extra bonus points are added for a

“Tai gui le!” (too expensive!)
or a
“Wo bu shi ri ben ren!!!” (”I’m not Japanese!”)

If you’re white / otherly foreign, then speaking Chinese is basically a way of saying that you’re not a tourist, and it also gives the stall holders something fun to laugh about when your back is turned.

and a free health check too

Speak Shanghainese
Slightly more tricky to pull off, but expat wisdom suggests that whilst stupid old whitey always pays more than the Chinese, out of towners also pay less more than anyone who can speak Taxi-driver talk.
(fixed 30th Oct, ta Liam)

Don’t blink first
Market stall holders can spot a sucker at 30 paces, but if you’re following the steps above it’s going to take them a bit longer to work out what kind of sucker you are.

Prolong their realisation by point-blank refusing to name a price that you want to pay. Let them name a price (which you should find both hilarious and horrifying) and have them come down a couple of notches first.

Ideally you should have the clothes hanging up in your wardrobe at home, with patches of wear beginning to show from a few seasons of regular rotation before you call up the tailor and make your first low ball offer.

Remember: stay vigilant at all times

Do the walk off. (But not that walk off)
Everyone knows the old walk-away-in-disgust technique- where the stall holder is supposed to chase after you in tears begging you to come back and pay whatever small coins you have in your pocket.

Maybe it’ll work, maybe it won’t- but there are few things more embarassing than doing the walk off and then having to come back shamefaced because you can’t find another stall that’s willing to make a lace girdle for a 30 year old man.

If you do decide to go this direction, then pretend that you’re breaking up with someone. It’s not them, it’s you, you want to think things over, you can’t help thinking that somewhere out there is a piece with better quality, a cheaper price, or sleeve buttons that actually fasten (hmm, this metaphor needs some work).

Finally

Always remember that the following phrases have no meaning whatsoever and should be ignored:

• “Friend price”
• Final offer
• Ohh handsome!
• Where are you from? Oh I like England/USA/Botswana very much!
• Please put underwear back on! Do not touch fabric like that!

There are two main fabric markets in Shanghai:

South Bund Soft Spinning Materials Market
399 Lujiabang Lu (near Nanpu Bridge)

Shiliupu Material Shopping Market
Dongmen Lu near Zhonghua Lu

The second day of my trip to Yunnan was spent entirely with a Chinese tour group. I’d asked a colleague for some advice on fun places to see around Kunming and he suggested the “Stone Forest”- a collection of weird shaped rocks about 50 miles from the city centre.

He also said he’d arrange transport, which I thought was nice, it’s probably worth hiring a mini-bus for half the day instead of trying to get taxis. Later on the arrangement became clearer:

“Please be in reception at 7am- you will be meeting a team”

I should’ve known then what I was in for- the infamous Chinese Tour Group. Following a shouty tour guide who holds a flag and barks information seems to be a relaxing way to spend a day for your average middle-aged Chinese couple.

It’s not my bag, but I figured it was too late to back out now.

The day went:

07:10 Meet up with pasty-faced youth at hotel reception, get into mini bus

07:40 Arrive at random apartment block in the backstreets of Kunming, pick up 3 other people in mini bus

08:10 Arrive at urine-soaked car park near Kunming Railway station to transfer to a bigger bus with 25 other people. I could’ve been at the Stone Forest by now.

08:30 Bus sets off, tour guide runs through ear-splitting monologue in rapid Chinese. Try to listen to MP3 player to drown out the prattle but am nearly overwhelmed by fumes from leaky exhaust under my seat

09:14 Tour guide stops talking for 45 blessed seconds as we go past a traffic accident. A car has rammed head first into a steel barrier at full speed. Driver must have died. Other team members look impressed

09:50 Bus arrives at a gift shop selling Jade and silver jewelry- other team members fight to throw money at the salespeople, I look on bewildered.

10:40 Bus arrives at random temple built next to a handy car park. Whilst praying to a thousand hand Buddha you can take a stick and have your fortune read for 10RMB. I suspect the fortune reads “A fool and his money is easily parted”

11:30 Set off on bus, drive uphill away from civilisation, towards the Stone Forest.

11:43 Are those farmers still using Ox to pull their cart?

11:51 Was that old guy smoking Opium?

11:53 That lady was definitely trying to make her baby smoke a cigarette. Yunnan is weird.

12:30 Finally arrive at gates to Stone Forest, more than 5 hours after we set off. Go to lunch.

Touching the correct rock is very important

When we finally got into the forest it was interesting enough, some rocks that look like a Cat / Monkey / beutiful woman (if you look out of one eye and squint really hard).

There are various rocks to touch which stop your teeth falling out, “have many girlfriends”, or live until you’re one hundred years old (although good luck with that one if your mother made you smoke as a baby), and of course there were lots and lots of things to flash a V-sign in front of whilst having your photo taken.

Suckers at the temple

After the forest we went for a ‘free’ tea ceremony (where people tried to sell us tea), a ‘free’ foot massage (where people tried to sell us Chinese medicine), a ‘free’ cup of coffee (where people tried to sell us coffee, coconut powder, seasame pancakes, flowers, etc. etc.) before finally escaping from “the team” and catching a furtive taxi to the airport.

Our ethnic tour guide

Tour to the Stone Forest 160RMB
including all transport, entrance & guide to temple, entrance & guide to Stone Forest, lunch.
(And side trips to 18 gift shops )

After spending just two nights I’m Beijing, I’m certainly no expert on the place. However I was given some good tips on where to go by experts, and had a stellar time in the city.

Many, many, many thanks to WoAiZhongGuo, CP/Chas and Craig McMahon.

Since there is a minor sporting event coming up, I thought I would use my time in Beijing to try and score some google hits. Shameless, I know, but what can you do?

So I’ve written an Official* Whoop-whoop Guide To The 2008 Summer Olympics in Ye Old Beijing

*Not strictly official.

Here are a few thoughts on Beijing (originally written to cash in on Olympics fever)

Beijing is too big to walk around. Rent a bicycle.

Most of the roads in Beijing included a bike lane that was wide enough to never be crowded. Although the street names were mad confusing for a newbie, there are maps of the local area and the city as a whole posted up all over the place, especially at major street junctions.

We saw an awful lot more of the city than we would on foot or a tour bus, and had not trouble finding a place to park up, even around Tiananmen Square or in the main shopping districts.

Know where you’re going before you get into a taxi.

Beijing people don’t speak proper- it’s all rawrrrr rawrrrr rawrrrr like a puppy with a chew toy.

So even if you can speak Chinese and know the name of the place you’re going to, it can still be a struggle to get somewhere.
Make sure you have an address card from your hotel, the phone number of the restaurant, an SMS message with directions written in Chinese characters or some other fallback plan before you get into a cab.

Bars in Beijing are the bomb dizzle.

Every single bar friends took me too was great. The nightlife in Beijing is quirky, fun, boozy, and cheap. Drinks lists with Belgian beers and 5 kinds of Vodka were everywhere, and before all of the suckers turned up for the Olympics, a pint of Tsingtao was 15-20RMB. Here are my favourite places:

• Salud – (Nanluoguxiang street)

An old timbered building (watch your head on the beams) that makes its own flavoured Rum behind the bar. 20RMB for a shot glass of ginger, apple & cinammon, orange & nutmeg etc. The Salud Special Spice flavour on the rocks was the best thing I drank in Beijing. And I drank a lot.

• Poachers Inn – (Sanlitun area)


50RMB to get in sounds a bit steep, but that included a pint glass full of Rum & Coke. The music was mainly hip-hop which got the local kids dancing on the tables and throwing their hands way up in the ai-ir. Bonkers fun atmosphere, 10RMB beers, horrible toilets, a good place to pick up Chinese girls (probably).

• The Tree – (Sanlitun area)

A real wood-burning pizza oven is going to make you sweat in the summer heat, but they have a list of maybe 40 imported beers to cool you down. Artwork on the walls shows naked boobies but in a classy way.

• Pass By Bar – (Nanluoguxiang street)

The roof terrace will be open in August, and the big collection of travel books will remind you of the places you could have afforded to go to if you hadn’t just paid 5,000RMB for a hotel room.
Again, 15RMB for a pint of TsingTao- why the hell can’t you get that kind of deal in Shanghai?

Beijing Duck is compulsory

Are you really going to be able to face the folks back home if you didn’t eat the local speciality? Top Shanghai blogger WoAiZhongGuo gave me a great tip for a place:

“Other than Charlie Chan’s restaurant in Cambridge, England (next to Oddbins- all major credit cards accepted) the best Beijing Duck in the world is at Da Dong“

There are two branches of Da Dong and both are very popular. We waited thirty minutes for a table on a Saturday- no hardship since there was free wine while you wait.
The food (200RMB for a duck, plan on around 300-400RMB for two including drinks) was fantastic, and at the end of the meal the waitress walks you to the door. Classy.

Beijingers live outside. Go and see

A Hutong is a side street where people sit around all day playing with their kids, washing clothes, eating, napping, and just hanging out. These Hutongs are an integral part of Beijing life- for now- and it’s interesting to walk or cycle around a few of these streets to see how the locals live.

Even better though is spending an afternoon in a park, listening to old folk playing music for their own pleasure, practicing calligraphy with water brushes, playing Mah Jong, etc.
Places like Bei Hai park, Ri Tan park etc. are daily hangouts, especially for the older generation who buy a yearly pass and spend a lot of their free time in the park.

These were just my impressions from one weekend in Bejing, maybe they’ll help someone out.

If you want more information, here is a properly detailed guide to the Olympics with hotels, tips, and all of that gubbins.

Photo taken with that Seagull camera I bought a few weeks ago, so the flash works too

I’ve been to see a load of stuff in the last few days; Hamlet at the Shanghai Dramatic Arts Centre (I don’t want to ruin the plot, but he choses “to be”, and then ends up “not to be”), a great acrobatics show at the Portman Centre (the French lady sat next to me literally said “Ooh la la!“), but the pick of the bunch was definitely The Subs on Saturday night.

The Subs are a rock band from Beijing- and when I say rock, I mean rock.
One girl from the audience passed out and was carried off on someone’s shoulders from all the hardcore rockery that was involved. Beer and sweat rained down on the crowd and I got elbowed in the eye about 8 times, it was fantastic.

They played at a club called Windows Tembo which used to be renowned for having a 30RMB (2 quid!) open bar on Tuesdays and is now, on the strength of last Saturday, the best place in Shanghai to see live music. 10RMB for a bottle of Harbin too, it sure beats The Spot.