1 Feb 2010

Shanghai is an enormous metropolis made up of tiny neighbourhoods, with twenty million people- none of whom look where they’re going.

Any guide can only give one glimpse of the whole, so what the hell- here’s mine.

FoodDuck feet

OK here’s the thing with eating in Shanghai. Everywhere is aimed at someone- from big business banquets to ditzy shopping princesses with more eyeliner than sense, to lonely Japanese businessmen.

If you’re an expat then you probably want certain things (waiters that don’t ignore you, menus with pictures and/or english, no flourescent strip lighting, service after 8:30pm). Well stop trying to find that elusive little authentic place and go where someone is set up to give that to you.

Here are four styles of Chinese food at four different restaurants- there’ll be plenty of foreign faces at all of them, but you’re just going to have to suck it up.

1. Sichuan Citizen

Sichuan food with the spice flame turned up to about a 4, but all of the flavour. I’m told PinChuan is the most authentic place in town, but the citizen has a better drinks list, (a lot) less attitude from the staff, and the pork and potato stew that I sometimes daydream about

2. Southern Barbarian (Yunnan food)

It’s buried away at the back of a shopping mall, and yet everyone knows about how good the fried Goat’s cheese, Chicken wings, potato pancakes and Aubergine is here.

I think the mashed Broadbean with ham is the best thing on the menu- Dingle thinks it smells like wet dog. We’re both right.

3. Guyi (Hunan style)

Great ribs, great pickled stuff, flashy interior to take guests too. The branch on Fumin Lu is packed- the tables outside are for the people waiting, the branch in a Jing-An shopping mall is a lot quieter with the same food.

4. Lynn (Shanghainese)

Fancy Shanghainese place for fancy Shanghainese locals. They’ll bring you a little stool to put your LV bag on- so make sure it at least looks real.

Everything tastes good here- the dimsum, the Shanghai duck, the vegetables, the soup. You have to order with a little care- one wrong step onto the Abalone & Shark’s Fin page will cost a few Maos, but this place is as good a representation of modern Shanghai as any backstreet noodle shop.

Booze

two wet pants

I’m not really built for drinking in Shanghai- too much of it assumes that a great night involves air kisses, fighting your way to the bar, shouting your order over bland music, then handing over the price of my first car for the bill.

F. That.

Here are some cheap places.

Bargains / Dives

Enoteca

A classy place that just happens to be cheap. Below 100RMB for a bottle of wine and with good food and music too.

Two locations: French Concession and Xintiandi

Bonbon

I think after you live in Shanghai for about 8 months you have to sign a piece of paper swearing that you hate this place- it’s between 80 and 150 RMB to get in, which isn’t bad since you get some of the best DJs in the world until 6am, and a back room playing pretty decent hip-hop, often with a live MC. But it’s free drinks all night, so unless you’re new in town you have to pretend it’s just awful- (extra cool points for claiming you simply can’t drink the spirits because they’re not premium brands).
At the top of Hengshan Road

Bonbon closed a few months back. RIP.

Captain’s Hostel Bar

The Bund is where all of the most expensive restaurants and clubs are- after all you have to pay for the great view right?

Wrong. The terrace at this backpackers hostel is as good as 3 on the Bund and better than Glamour Bar, Laris, D&G Bar, Aquarium, the Peace Hotel etc. etc.

Reasonable drinks prices, and you’ll feel like you’ve found a secret.

Logo

A small bar that looks like it’s closed from the outside- except for the 10 French guys opposite smoking and trying on each others hats. It’s rough around the edges, has Tiger for 30RMB and on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays is a great place to hear ace leftfield music and talk to sound people from all over the place.

The street its on used to be a wasteland, but now there are Dada and Anar with similar music and bar prices to keep you busy.

C’s

A dive bar that’s 10 RMB a drink which means no pretension; people are here to get drunk and dance around like a tit (to hip-hop at the weekend and anything goes mid-week).

Fun, especially towards the end of the night cos they only close when the last person gives up.

Windows Underground

Since Windows Too closed (no loss to me, it was always way to packed and way too shady) there are now two Windows in town. Windows Scoreboard (closed Jan 2010), and Windows Underground.

They’re all linked by cheap booze: beers for 10-25RMB, 10RMB for B52 shots, 20RMB for spirits, very cheap food, and some unbelievable all-you-can-drink offers mid-week. Windows Underground sounded like it was going to be very cool at one point, it was going to have live music and suchlike. Well they scrapped that idea, and now it’s a hang out for local Shanghainese to dance to hip-hop.

Still the drinks are a bargain and you can get loaded here before you go onto somewhere where the sinks aren’t full of puke.

Exit

I hesitate to recommend this because it looks like it might not be around forever, but you know what? It’s Shanghai- we could all wake up tomorrow and find that KFC has closed it’s doors and moved out overnight.

Sergio_Exit_bar

The owner of Exit has made a place he’d want to get drunk in- well, in fact he does. Good music that you don’t have to yell over, friendly atmosphere, realistic drinks prices, a Long Island Ice Tea that makes you want to smash up a doll’s house with a kettle.

Exit closed Dec 2009, Sergio says he’ll open up somewhere else more central. After a long rest.

Harley’s Bar

A dive bar with loads of dartboards, cheeky staff (who’ll call and order you a pizza since they don’t really do food), 25RMB Tigers and snake Baijiu hidden in a green bag on the bar

(which they’ll only let you drink if there aren’t many people in, cos it’s illegal and takes the skin off the roof of your mouth. Also they put the price of it up every time I go in there. In fact I think there’s only me that ever drinks the stuff)

I heart Harley’s!

Time’s Passage

Tucked away down an alleyway at the junction of Huashan Lu and Fuxing Lu, I don’t get to this place as often as I should. It’s cool, beer is 20RMB, they have a band on sometimes, and an old Iraqi banknote with Saddam Hussein on it behind the bar.

Classy places

The Spot

Not as good as it once was (it’s crap on a Saturday night when you talk to your friends over the noise of the band) but I’ve spent more time in this place than my own bathroom.

Then again, my bathroom doesn’t have good boozing food, solid table service (other than the time they brought me two main courses) and a happy hour from 4-8pm.

It’s good at changing from a comfortable local type place during the week, to a smart venue to take people at the weekend maybe they turn the lights down or something, I don’t know, I’m not a professor.

@Tongren Lu (the good end).

Barbarossa

Horrendously expensive (well, I think 65 for a cocktail is dear anyway) but with great drinks and the best location in town.

The Bund is more famous, but nothing’s more chilled out than on an island in the middle of a lake in People’s Park. Only worth it for one or two at the start of the night, but a real breath of fresh air in the middle of the city.

People’s Park- in the middle of a lake.

People’s 7

Cocktails called things like “Spring Water” and “Girls In Japan, spotlights picking out each individual table, a door that requires some kind of secret code (or someone leaving through it) to open.

The first time I went, someone explained to me why the toilets were so bizarre:

To fuck with your head man! To fuck with your head!

Which, you know, is fun sometimes. There’s a People’s 6 too which is as mad as the other one.

Somewhere inbetween

The Beaver (AKA The Eager Beaver)

The friendliest bar in Shanghai / the world- I would happily drink on my own there, as anyone sat around the big horseshoe bar is fair game for conversation.

When you’ve made new mates play on the Championship quality Table Football. Loads of different beers too, and the manager generally end up as drunk as you.

Other stuff

The Puxi To Pudong Ferry

If you don’t enjoy ferries then I don’t know what’s wrong with you . I mean seriously, are you one of those people who thinks the Red Hot Chilli Peppers version of “Higher Ground” was better than the original? One of those people who buys Vanilla Ice-Cream because you read that Haagen Dazs use slightly better quality ingredients in it since there’s no other flavouring to mask the cream so you think you’re getting a better deal? One of those wankers who put their seat all of the way back for an entire 8 hour flight- even when the cabin crew SPECIFICALLY TELL YOU that we’re landing so you’ll have to stop crushing my knees for 10 minutes.

You need to have a word with yourself my friend, because people like you will be first up against the wall come the revolution. Am I making myself clear?

[Oh, the ferry is at the Southern end of the Bund-it's 2RMB and the view's dead good]

And here are another six tips for Shanghai

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