Published by Swiss James on 27 Nov 2009 at 01:18 am
A massage story with a happy ending
Just went for a massage with Emma, I won’t name the place*.
Anyway there we are, me and Emma side by side on tables when the two massage girls start talking to each other in Chinese.
These two are sweaty
Yes, foreigners are sweaty. This one is really ticklish too, watch
She gave a bit of a poke in my fleshy rump. I giggled.
Do you like foreign men?
Noo, I don’t like them. What about that foreigner you have who comes in regularly with the curly hair? I bet you like him.
Oh him, he’s almost like a black man!
I’m not sure why they assumed neither Emma or I could understand any of this- especially when I started laughing. In the end Emma cracked out of turn by asking for something or other in Chinese; they stopped talking and started blushing.
But she doesn’t like foreigners though you know.
Too much hair. Everywhere.
George Michael, at the precise moment he turned
*ah screw it- ‘Everlasting’ on Shaanxi Lu.
‘Oh him, he’s almost like a black man’
Dingle’s infamous sunburn created quite an impression it seems.
where’s the happy ending??
Wow, I’m impressed you could understand all that. What helped you learn Chinese so well?
you can’t get this in london . i suggest you stay !
DavidA- I think you misunderstand about why he’s “almost like a black man”…
JeffWho- the happy ending is the massive amounts of google traffic I’ll be getting to this post!
Clark- to be fair, Emma speaks much better than me. Afterwards it was like
Me “Did she say she likes foreigners because they are hairy?”
Emma “No, she said she doesn’t like foreigners because of the hair”.
Me “She’s a liar, she was squeezing my bottom cheeks for about 15 minutes”.
Anyway I studied for about 6 hours a week, after work, for a year with Easy Mandarin.
mike- oh I bet you can if you know where to go!
You giggled?
extra text because my comment was too short.
Hello there
I know this sounds flaming chicken oriental but the government here, in a moment of panic electioneering, are considering making the UK a no-go area for people who want to learn the Queen’s English- or indeed any English at all. They are currently considering several changes to the student visa system, most of which will result in every single English school in the UK closing down in the very near future. The best case scenario will leave our industry in tatters but surviving, the worst sees all us teacher types on the street selling the Big Issue.
If you are British and think that this sounds as mental as I do then please head here
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/PBSReview/
and sign the petition- write to your local MP and tell them how barmy you think this is.
Sorry, swiss, but we are fighting looming mass unemployment in the EFL sector.
Thanks for yourhelp!
‘I think you misunderstand about why he’s “almost like a black man”…’
You wouldn’t think it to look at him, would you? Blimey.
@James – Was there no communication prior to the massage beginning? It is odd they assumed you couldn’t speak Chinese.
@Mike – Actually it’s even easier in London to find Chinese masseuses who assume western customers don’t understand Chinese. Oh, sorry, you meant happy ending massage places. Not that I’ve tried but I think if you Google “Asian Massage London” you’ll get more than just one or two hits!
I think I told you about this the other night but the day after you posted this, Wiggy was over and we ended up watching Wham in China for the first time since I downloaded it, I recognised the scene immediately.
Weird though, he looks more like Charlie Sheen in your still!
The same massage place were fascinated with my leg hair and were pulling it and saying “Does this hurt?”.
Later, during the massage, I was man enough to say “No, sir, your massage isn’t too strong. No, no, I’m not whimpering like a lost, hungry puppy in the freezing cold – it’s my relaxed noise”.
Suffice to say we left without completing our stupid membership cards we signed up for.
- Dingle, i heard about that movie, please keep a copy for me thx!!
WoAi- there was something or other about Emma looking around for somewhere to put a tissue and they were going “Just drop it on the floor” she didn’t want to do that so they guessed she didn’t understand. Usually though they just assume that white folks ting bu dong.
Dingle- which was your favourite scene? Was it when they were playing football?
Cankles- Why wouldn’t it hurt?!
Jeffwho- it’s a classic.
wham in China – Ispy & Dingle !
Oh any scene with Andrew Ridgeley in, he wasn’t at all annoying in it. Anyway, he’s bald now, how’s that for karma!