ISpyShanghai

Continuing my cut-out-and-keep guide to the parks of Shanghai…

On Saturday the weather was so glorious- so good in fact that the government set off huge air raid sirens to make sure everyone was out of bed and enjoying the blue skies.

Leaping out of bed I grabbed a kite and a camera and headed to Zhongshan Park in the West of the city. Zhongshan Park is named after Sun Yat Sen, but that’s not why I go there- I go because it’s on line number 2 just a few stops from my house, you can play on the grass and they have boats to ride around the lake. It’s ace.

The main problem with the park- other than the fact there are another 10,000 people crammed into it, is that it attracts a lot of amateur opera singers. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not Operaphobic- what they choose to do in the privacy of their own theaters is up to them. But when they set up amplifiers and blast that nonsense into what would be a beautiful peaceful afternoon?
It makes you weep for the future.

Second on the list of annoyances at Zhongshan are the kite know-alls. Since 1985 there is a by-law in Shanghai that any foreigner attempting to fly a kite within the city limits must have a minimum of 4 middle-aged Chinese guys telling them why they’re doing it all wrong.

At Zhongshan park there are always 5 or 6 younger guys taking photos of the ensuing tantrums as Emma snatches the kite reel back from some guy and shouts

it’s not your fun, it’s our fun! Stop bothering us!

Anyways, there are lots of places to get snacks around the park- you can watch kids practising rollerblading, slightly older kids practising Kung-fu moves, play frisbee or buy a 7 inch rabbit in a 6 inch    cage.

Zhongshan Park
Zhongshan Park metro station, line 2
Entrance free, open while the sun shines

Look mum- no people!

If you’re quick, and I mean really quick, you might catch some pleasant weather in Shanghai.

Since we’re no longer in the oppressive heat of the summer, and the grey drudge of Winter hasn’t started yet, it must be Autumn- a perfect time for hanging out at a park.

Autumn

Gongqing Park- not just for latino wedding photos

The biggest park that I know of is called GongQing Forest Park, in Yangpu district- so big it’s almost a forest, and one of the few places in the city you can walk on grass without an old man shouting at you.

It’s miles from anywhere, so you need to make a decision- 60RMB in a taxi took us from Jing-An, over the Suzhou creek, past Shanghai Circus World, and up to the gates of the park. Alternatively there’s supposed to be a bus that goes from People’s Square to the park:

Tourist Line 8
An alternative ring line to Tourist Line 7 that takes in a number of the city’s major sights.

Route: Shanghai Stadium <—> People’s Square <—> The Bund <—> Heping Park <—> Yangpu Park <—> Gongqing Forest Park <—> Shanghai Stadium

Operating Time: 6:30 – 19:00
Frequency: every 30 minutes
Price: CNY3
Tel: 021-64265989

http://www.travelchinaguide.com/cityguides/shanghai/transportation/town-bus.htm

As for the train- well The Man is supposed to be building Metro line 17 which will end right at the park, but construction is currently scheduled to start some time between 2010 and the third age of Aquarius, so don’t hold your breath.

Once you’re there it’s time to kick off your shoes, walk through quiet paths amongst the tall trees, play frisbee, fly kites, have a BBQ, play mini-golf (Emma won, but I don’t want to talk about it), ride a miniature train, or just appreciate the quiet and nice weather as the leaves change colour.

GongQing Forest Park
Yangpu District-

Entrance is 15RMB for adults, free for Munchkins under 1.2m.
More details here

Apologies for the lack of shoes yesterday, but I think you’ve had too many of them recently anyway.

Here’s something with a bit of substance- the various parts of a Tuna.

Learn them well, there will be a test next week

You know when you have a French exchange student at your school, and you think it will be funny to teach them really filthy English?

Well apparently the China Daily has a 14 year old boy writing their “Better English” column:

Don’t think this was a one-off either, here’s the same column on the following day.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the “Better Maths” section shows you how to write the word “BOOBIES” on a calculator.

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I scanned in the first couple of magazine articles that I had published didn’t I?

Seem to have fallen out of that habit, and into the habit of holding stuff back from this site to put in print.
Is that selling out? Or is it just sensible given the fact that more people will see the magazine?

Anyway- if you don’t live here, or just don’t go to coffee shops and pick up expat magazines, you will have missed treats such as:

Why does my pool make me wear a swimming cap?

McDonalds guerrilla marketing

and…

5 Places I do not want to die in a fire

1. Subway line No. 4, 08:30am.

Any subway fire would be bad enough, but this one isn’t even close to my house so would be a real pain to get to.

2. Barbie Megastore, HuaiHai Lu

In the changing rooms, trying on tiaras. Oh the shame!

3. Cantina Agave, Fumin Lu

Those bottles of Tequilla would explode like fireworks at Spring Festival, and the nachos would be ruined.

4. Wave pool @ Dino Beach

Surrounded by water, choking on smoke. The sense of irony would be too much.

5. The Bund Tourist Tunnel

By the time you realised the flames weren’t part of the incredible sound & light show…IT WOULD BE TOO LATE!!

A naked escalator:

This thing is also the world’s smallest escalator- from Jing-An metro station to the adjacent shopping centre.
If you take the stairs instead there are a grand total of 8 steps.
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St Christopher was a Canaanite 12 cubits (18 ft) tall and with a fearsome face. While serving the king of Canaan, he took it into his head to go and serve the greatest king there was- Christ.

A hermit advised St Chris that he could serve Christ by carrying people across a dangerous river. One day a small child asked to be taken across the river, during the crossing, the river became swollen and the child seemed as heavy as lead, so much that Christopher could scarcely carry him and found himself in great difficulty.

When he finally reached the other side, the child said: “You had on your shoulders not only the whole world but him who made it. I am Christ your king, whom you are serving by this work.” The child then vanished.

From The Golden Legend by Archbishop Jacobus de Voragine (1230-1298)
And that’s why St Christopher is the patron saint of travellers, and many westerners have medals of him in their cars, mopeds and caravans.

What good is Mao supposed to be during a heavy river crossing?

None whatsoever. You might as well have a graven image of Donald Duck.

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I thought I’d lost the website today- couldn’t log in and it seemed as though the “reset password” emails were being sent to some nefarious swine that had hacked in.

Imagine if someone really had attacked? All those photos of lovely shoes stolen, it’s grown to a priceless collection now, I don’t know whafor materil t I would have done.

Ah well, all’s well that ends well. Here’s a calming image from a Thai temple to look at whilst we all reflect on the fact that attachment to material goods inevitably leads to suffering*

Thanks to Helen for the photo!

(*N.B. there is a mandatory 10 dollar donation to look at the sign).