Published by Swiss James on 17 Jul 2009 at 05:43 pm
London
Fancy London types buying umbrellas
It’s been a whirlwind here. I hired a car for my time in the UK and foolishly thought it would be a good idea to drive down to London whilst visiting friends in the capital. I know the streets of London about as well as a Yellowfin Tuna knows Portugese, but no problem- I’ve got a satnav.
Big mistake. It turns out that every time you want to drive from one part of London to another, my satnav device figures the best route is always directly through the centre of town.
Unfortunately, London has some weird fine system that only relates to certain streets at certain hours, called The Congestion Charge. I think the exact wording is actually “if thy crosseth the Citye Walles betwixt ye hours of dawne and dvske, we will automatically fine thee 40 quid”.
Being just a simple northerner I don’t understand these odd London ways so I spent the whole time with the road signs telling me I had to turn left or face a hefty fine, 20 London taxis honking their horns behind me and shouting in some weird cockney dialect, and a satnav telling me to turn right at the next junction- straight into the gates of Buckingham Palace.
A horse, Spitalfields market, London.
Here’s a photo of a horse.
Did you purchase any 2600 pound watches or wraps whilst you were in London Town?
ahah, i’m exactly in the same situation in lisbon! i’ve committed at least 3 or 4 infractions so far, almost scratched my borrowed car, and yesterday a policeman came to me and politely asked me if i was practicing for some sort of “gincana” (weird and bumpy competition/rally). :( what was i thinking coming to the capital with a gps…!
ps – the portuguese spell portuguese with an ‘u’ between the ‘portug’ and the ‘ese’ :P
Londonium – it’s a jungle out there. Us outsiders are best to avoid it. Being from an average town in Sussex, the City always seemed oppressive and scary to me.
James – Cor blimey mate. Using a Satnav in London is like trying to blow up the death star with the onboard computers. You have to disengage and use the force. Or take a taxi. Have you ever seen a London taxi driver with a Satnav?
T – You remembered the correct price!
Ana – English people spell Portuguese the same way.
hahaha so it was you driving round like a nutter near my school t’other day!
North of England? Is that so different from the south? It’s such a small place, I don’t see what the big deal is!
maxiewawa – I believe someone once said there are more different dialects and accents in one English Valley then in the whole of USA + Canada.
Okay Swiss,
It is time to stop swanning around London and the Outer Hebrides and get back to your ‘real life’ back in Shanghai.
The heat is killing me, okay it is the humidity…but even so, you need to come back to break the monotony. I am going crazy here waiting for you to take some time to post.
I do not think you should just leave us high and dry like this. Don’t you have a 12 step program to help deal with the withdrawal symptoms?
i assume youbought the horse – it’ll go nice with the dancing frog in a blue suit
No, it’s the heat. It hit 38 yesterday.
hi,james,I am one of your secret followers of your blog,and I think I have to say sumthing about ur second photo,I have one bad news and one good news about it,which one you like to hear first?
When you have afternoon tea with the Queen can you give her a nudge about Australia’s sovereignty? It’s time to drop Australia. “it’s not you, it’s me” routine will work fine.
Too tight to pay the congestion charge Tim
I like horses…