ISpyShanghai

Spotted on the maglev last night.

Ah China, how I’ve missed you.
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So I’m trying to get my holiday photos in order- but it’s taking a while because I’m being a bit particular about the results.

It was fine when you got the photos back from the chemist and stuck them in a drawer, but now we can edit these things to within an inch of reality, I’m spending time touching up highlights, removing red eye, and adding muscle definition to any shots where I’ve got my shirt off.

Here’s an example of what I’ve been doing, see if you can spot what needed to be fixed. Blink and you’ll miss it mind.

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Eve- she only cried when we made her wear these goggles

It’s lovely over there you know, Portugal. The waiters are friendly, the streets are paved with delicious Sardine paste, and you can buy a bottle of Cava for 2 Euros at the local supermarket.

The Algarve

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This one is straight from my web to yours- underwear for your feet to be worn by dancers instead of socks.

“FOOTUNDEEZ”- or as I prefer to call them “FOOTWTF?”.

At first I could see no point to these whatsoever. But now that I think about it, the bit of the foot they’re covering is exactly where I developed blisters the size (and smell) of a McDonald’s cheeseburger after walking around in flip-flops all day. So perhaps they’re not such a bad idea.

FOOTUNDEEZ: about 15-21 USD from Capezio

I’ve been on holiday, to Portugal. It’s like Spain but without the castanets- pictures of no castanets will follow.

Since I arrive back in Shanghai on Tuesday, I expect the usual updates will start then.

All the hairy chest,
James.

Fancy London types buying umbrellas

It’s been a whirlwind here. I hired a car for my time in the UK and foolishly thought it would be a good idea to drive down to London whilst visiting friends in the capital. I know the streets of London about as well as a Yellowfin Tuna knows Portugese, but no problem- I’ve got a satnav.

Big mistake. It turns out that every time you want to drive from one part of London to another, my satnav device figures the best route is always directly through the centre of town.

Unfortunately, London has some weird fine system that only relates to certain streets at certain hours, called The Congestion Charge. I think the exact wording is actually “if thy crosseth the Citye Walles betwixt ye hours of dawne and dvske, we will automatically fine thee 40 quid”.

Being just a simple northerner I don’t understand these odd London ways so I spent the whole time with the road signs telling me I had to turn left or face a hefty fine, 20 London taxis honking their horns behind me and shouting in some weird cockney dialect, and a satnav telling me to turn right at the next junction- straight into the gates of Buckingham Palace.

A horse, Spitalfields market, London.

Here’s a photo of a horse.

Reminder: James is on holiday in the UK at the moment. He is gaining approximately 3Kg per day.

It might look like a stack of old garden furniture to you, but to a child’s active imagination it could be a Fortress, an alien wasteland, a tetanus soaked death trap…

@ The Bull’s Head, Halebarns.

Reminder: James is working in his UK office right now, normal Shanghai service will be resumed soon.

A parcel has turned up for one of the guys at work. For the life of us we can’t work out what the heck it is, and the guy’s away from his desk right now.

A vase? Three rolled up issues of Vanity Fair end-to-end? A huge hairclip?

All work has stopped as 45 engineers stand around trying to solve this impossible problem.

Nige says he thinks it might be a Flute

Any help gratefully received as we are stumped.