Published by Swiss James on 05 Mar 2009 at 12:55 pm
Bling bling
Emma and I are currently trying to pick a phone to go in our new home- we’re down to one of these two:
The second one is currently in the lead as the colour matches the ruffles on my collection of antique porcelain dolls.
Honestly though, how does a shop like this stay open? I can’t imagine it’s every day that Snoop Dogg and the ghost of Liberace go on a homeware shopping spree down by the Bund.
Monstruous phones- 560RMB, a shop on East Fuzhou Lu.
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If you’ve been here for a while (or at least shopped for apartments) then you’ll know there’s a class of Chinese (or as I call them “Wenzhou Ren”) for whom “too ostentatious” means absolutely nothing.
I’ve seen excessively grotesque displays of gilded furniture and faux-Versace stuff to make Louis XIV say, “Hey, maybe y’all should tone it down a bit – that’s a bit loud”*
The worst fashion crime I’ve seen in my time here is a glass dining table that had, instead of four legs, four cereamic dalmations with the table resting on their heads.
Instead of ring, ring it would be bling, bling!!
haha!
That’s so plain. They need to add at least a few hundred gems on to it before I’d even consider buying it.
As T says, just try apartment hunting in Shanghai. I had to reject at least half the places I saw purely because of the over the top furniture and fittings. Even my current place is more the lesser of two evils rather than my ideal place. Same with bed clothes. I am not an Ikea fan, but try finding somewhere else in China that sells sheets that aren’t covered in loud floral patterns with frilly bits on the edges!
T- actually yeah, in my new place we had to carry the coffee table away out of the living room because it was offensive. Also paid 1,000RMB to recover the sofa because the flowered pattern was like a napkin from 1975.
The dalmatians sound cool though.
Karen- that’s what the title of the post was aiming for
“Bling bling. It’s for you!”
WoAi- you could always bedazzle it after you buy it?
I would like one of these along with one of those wristwatch wall clocks (normal sized wall mounted clock with enormous fake strap, probably emblazoned with CUCCI or LEWIS VITTON)
James – I would if I could but I just don’t have the time these days so I prefer my bling to be pre-blinged.
Oops, I forget to add my witty rejoinder that goes with my star
*Louis would probably have said this in French.
reply @ T
i feel offended, i am a “wenzhou ren”, altho, not one of those “too ostentatious” kind, but they are still my fellow men, i should be the one to say things like that to them.
What no Cubic zirconia encrusted phones?
Also is it wireless? I don’t see a phone cord.
@ lei – good, I was trying to offend. God knows your people need some sense of shame.
Am retagging you on that Facebook pic to be Mr Fabulous
The worst/best thing I personally encountered was in an apartment I rented in Qingdao one summer. The landlord furnished the apartment and in the master bedroom there was the most glorious floor lamp. It was about 4.5 feet high in the shape of an angel holding a tiny baby in her arms. The whole thing was painted gold and the lamp shade was a giant yellow bowl on top. But the whole thing was plastic. It was amazing. Who buys something like that?!
Heli82- oh how I would love to see a photo of that.
In fact I’d love to see a whole blog / photo book of tacky chinese furniture.
There’s a gap in the market for someone.