ISpyShanghai

And now for some words from our readers:

High Heel flippers

From Daegu Owl himself, Paul.

I was intrigued enough by these little beauties to track down their original provenance. Turns out there’s a woman in Belgium that makes them, although her website doesn’t seem to sell em. A recession-busting gap in the market for glamorous snorkelling ladies awaits.

Shoes, Argentina

 Helen “Missbels” sent in these clownish crackers from Cordoba, Argentina. I’m fascinated by what it might say on the price card but the closeup, CSI-Miami style photo enhancement below reveals very little.

Any spanish-speaking clairvoyants?

And finally from the world’s largest natural deposit of odd shoes: Japan

The boots say “Sakamoto” in Japanese. Which I guess is either a surname (like Ryuchi Sakamoto) or a bizarre fetishistic love of pink fur.

Click below to see the full photograph- but put your sandwich down first.

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It was Emma’s birthday this weekend so we did something we’ve been wanting to do for a while and spent a night at the Astor House hotel.

The Astor is an old Shanghai institution that’s been in the same location by the Bund since the 1850s.

The hotel installed the first electric lights in Shanghai in 1882, the first Stock Exchange was opened there, and when the first phone directory came out for Shanghai- name #1 was The Astor, Tel: 200.

The list of former guests is pretty cool:

• Albert Einstein:
  Clever clogs

• The Ulysses SS. Grant:
  US president with the coolest name ever 

• Charlie Chaplin
  Bowler hat salesman

• Zhou Enlai
  The Mao it’s OK to like 

You can choose to stay in any of the rooms that these people used, but because Emma is a bit of an oddball, she preferred Room 310- former residence of Betrand Russell.

The hotel is a little run down and shabby around the edges- but it’s got more character than a Chinese dictionary (hmm, that almost works).

All of the floors in the building are either wood or mosaic tiles- our room had a big leather sofas, a Chaise Lounge, Chinese tea table, huge writing desk, drinks cabinet, and 1920s details on the ceilings, windows and doors.

If you want to stay in a place that still shows off the golden age of Shanghai- this (or the Mansion Hotel) is it.

“Celebrity room” at the Astor House hotel, HuangPu Lu XXXRMB
(Well it was her birthday, so I’m not saying) 

In the old town of Seoul there is shopping area called Myeong Dong

Myeong Dong

Myeong Dong backs onto a small mountain called Namsan, and on top of Namsan is a TV and radio mast called Seoul Tower

Seoul Tower

Since the views are good up here, young lovers hike up the mountain (or get the cable car if they’re smart) and hold hands as they look out across the city.

They also buy a padlock, write their names on it- and lock it to the fences that ring the tower.

I don’t know why they do this, but do it they do- and in the hundreds if not thousands.

The whole area behind the girl is covered in locks

Did someone first have this idea in a Korean film or TV show? Is it a tradition that dates back for years?
I have no idea.

It’s a charming symbol though- locking the love on there, never to be removed, bonded to the fabric of the city.
Until of course he cheats on you, and you break up. Which is why they have signs up everywhere saying:

"Oooh please take my lock down! I hate him! I hate him!!"

Emma @ Kyeongbok Palace

Ah there she is look, stood in the doorway of a palace called “Kyeongbok” in downtown Seoul.

We were very lucky with the weather during our 3 days in Seoul- blue skies every day, warm enough for a light sports jacket or a wind-cheater. The Koreans are very proud of their 4 distinct seasons and we were there right in the middle of the 2 week shift from bitterly cold to stiflingly hot known as ‘Spring’.

As well as such unique honestly-no-one-else-has-4-seasons!-really?-4-different-ones? weather, Korea is famous for cosmetic surgery.

Hair transplant with your coffee?

I’m told that people from all over East Asia fly to Korea to fix up their eyelids, nose or lady bumps and the locals can barely go a day without having some kind of operation.

In fact, if you live in China, here’s a fun thing to do with your Chinese friends: tell them that you hear Korean women are very beautiful. I bet they reply:

“Only because they have had plastic surgery! They are very ugly when they are born!”

If you hear something else, I’ll send you a 100 dollar gift certificate to spend in the ISpyShanghai shop.

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One thing I wish I could have taken home to join my typewriter collection was this:

Korean alphabet typewriter

The Korean alphabet is phonetic and only has 24 characters, so making a typewriter is, I suppose, fairly straightforwardish.

"James" in Korean

One more thing to show you tomorrow and then that’s it, I promise.

I’ve got a pile of photos from Seoul sitting around on my desk here, as I packed a lot of fun stuff into a short weekend break.

To blast through a bunch of the photos, here’s a slideshow*

*In the hope of avoiding disappointment I should point out that in this slideshow, neither I, David Hasselhof, nor any asian girls are naked.

Update: Hmm, that slideshow didn’t work AND crashed my computer. Removed it.

"It says something about tea. Let's go and buy a Ukulele!"

Here’s me stood on one of the side streets off Insadong.

You see all that squiggly non-Chinese writing? I can read all of that and Emma can’t.
For the whole weekend Emma had to rely on my awesome Korean skills whilst she wandered around like an illiterate child- the exact reverse of my experience in China.

(Hence the manly pose).

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The Korean equivalent / rip-off of The Body Shop is called “Face Shop” (do you see what they did there?). At Face Shop one of the many, many, many men’s perfumes on offer was called Eau de L’Ame.

Not pictured: Essence of Spaz

I was reminded of the scene in Blades of Glory:

Chazz: Hey, MacElroy, was that your routine or a performance of the Cirque de So Lame?

One of Emma’s favourite things about Seoul (other than marvelling as I faultlessly read a Korean menu to her) was all of the cute stationery* on sale

I heart sitting in stationery shops with a hangover

*don’t worry- I checked that it was the wright speling.

She bought 18 diaries, 37 tiny notebooks etc and enough tiny pencils to build a Noah’s Ark for The Borrowers. 

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Here is a vending machine that sells solar powered bobble head dolls.

More stuff tomorrow.

That slideshow is still here if your computer is better than mine.

(Matching hair clips not shown)

If you’re in a couple, then the stress of dressing is removed for you in Korea. On a second date, the guy will generally turn up wearing a cloth sack, a bin liner, or a soiled surgical gown as he knows that the girl will have a matching outfit (shoes, trousers, shirt, ankle bracelet) all prepared for him.

Rumours abound about what happens if a man does not wear the outfit provided, in fact many Korean horror movies begin with this as their opening scene.

Metrosexual (adj)- An adult male who spends more money on shoes than he does on beer. 

In Korea, the Metrosexual is dead and they have taken things to the next level with something called “Flower men”

That man bag is full of smaller man bags

Flower Man (noun)- An adult male who has to wake up at 5am to work on his hairstyle.

Many flower men have to give up work entirely to focus on choosing socks, and ensuring that their outfits match everything they might possibly stand next to during the course of a day.

In response to this, girls in Seoul must ratchet up the femininity of their outfits to the sort of a thing she might have worn to an 8th birthday party in the year 1885.

Rocking that antique doll / "Vampire bait" look for Spring '09

The main reason I went to Seoul was for the wedding of my friends Cam and Sae-Jin.

They’re actually getting married in Canada later this year, but since that’s really far away (somewhere above the USA apparently?) not everyone would be able to make it and they decided to have a bash for their friends in Asia.

The happy couple

The wedding party started in the late afternoon, and since I’d only stopped drinking the previous night at 4ish- I ended up being pretty hammered, pretty quickly. After that it didn’t seem to matter whether I switched from Champagne, to wine, to beer or back again, all of the drinks just seemed to get me drunker and drunker and 

drunker and drunker

and drunker and drunker.

By the time I left I remember shouting at Cam

“Why aren’t you going to wear a wedding ring? You are the worst gay of all time!”

But I’m sure he took it in the spirit of love and affection that it was meant. 

It was a top class do anyway, there was cake, video messages from across the waves, I met someone who flew to Taipei to see Kylie Minogue, and a regular ISpy commentor / multi-linguist named Daegu Owl was asked to translate for a Korean guy who wanted to talk to Emma:

Korean guy- (something in Korean)

Daegu Owl- He says you are very beautiful

Emma- Oh, thanks!

Korean guy- (something in Korean)

Daegu Owl- Now he’s asking if…umm I think I’d better tell him that you’re taken

Congratulations Cam and SJ- and thanks for a great party!

SJ, Sam, Cam

What?

Oh right.