ISpyShanghai

Well now you see, it isn’t easy to take photos of shoes in England.

Without having the cover of being a laowei who is expected to act oddly all of the time anyway, a man of my age taking photos of feet is just a pervert.

In Glasgow I tried to get a shot of what was underneath a Scotsman’s kilt, but they chased me out of town. In Leeds I was lining up a long exposure of the Ladies shoe department in Harvey Nicks when they kicked me out. Outside Buckingham Palace I attempted to snap the Queen’s royal sling-backs and was thrown into the Tower Of London.

However I did manage to find a spot above the rooftops where I could use a long-lensed camera to snap this piece of Brit fashion.

So I can exclusively report that this summer the over-weight, shaven-headed, incredibly-unconvincing tranvestites are wearing…. pink flip-flops.

(Do you think the guy in the shadows sees this thing every day? He doesn’t seem to have even noticed)

Sorry about the delay, I got into a long drawn-out argument over which was better; a hot Salt-Beef bagel (with mustard and dill pickles), or Cardiff.

I promise it won’t happen again.

Would users please note that due to timezone differences, Shoe Tuesday may not be available until Wednesday of your local time.

Thanks,

The Team@ ISpyShanghai.com

I’m sat in Dubai airport, halfway through my trip home, waiting for my flight back to England.

It’s 5:45 local time, this is a funny airport.
The call to prayer doesn’t wake up the hundreds of Africans sleeping against the glass along the moving walkway but it does manage to freak out the British tourists shopping for Hookah pipes and Arsenal shirts. They sell chicken kebabs in McDonalds, there are more Mosques than bars, and all of the prices are in a currency that I’m pretty sure they’ve made up.

Should be home at around lunchtime on Wednesday. As I was leaving the office yesterday I noticed the guys at work were having a bit of a party to wish me farewell. It was a nice touch, although I kind of wish they’d invited me too.
They probably just forgot.

Turnout at the “Bon Voyage James!” party is expected to be high despite the poor weather.

<cue Shoe Tuesday music>

Whilst out for Japanese food with my mate from I Love China I noticed these sparkling little foot-cuddlers on our dining companion.

Without doubt the best girls shoes I have ever seen, they’re ideal for every situation- weddings, funerals, Mosque etc.
She may have told me where she got them from, but the meal included free-flow sake so I can’t remember.

On a related note I went to a very good woman’s shoe store** on Maoming Lu (heading south from the junction with HuaiHai Lu) which had genuine Marc Jacobs, Chloe, Diesel and all kinds of stuff for about 150-300RMB per pair.

*Sorry T, it’s not your Nike IDs. Although they’re nice too.

**With Emma, not just for fun.

Every time I ask my Chinese workmates what they did at the weekend I get the same answer: “Sleeping”.

Before I moved to Asia the only person I knew who slept for a continuous 70+ hour period was woken up by the kiss of a handsome prince, but now it seems that everyone under the age of 30 is a sleeping beauty.

When I keep on probing it seems that what my workmates are actually doing is playing computer games, which I sort of think is a pretty sad waste of a weekend. Much better to go on a huge Friday night drinking binge (@The Beaver, Constellation, Shelter and Dragon Club), mop up the remains of the alcohol on Saturday
morning with a pint of coffee and eggs benedict, then do it all again on Saturday night.

No computer games. Or at least, not usually.

My mate John, however, has recently bought a game callled Rock Band for his PS3 (which, Mum, is like a PS2 but one better). This game is insane- it comes with a wireless guitar, an electronic drum kit, and a microphone so that you and two friends can all play along to songs (The Strokes, “Ballroom Blitz”, Iron Maiden) and win points according to how accurate you are at playing the instruments.

It’s amazing fun, especially with a few beers and a few friends, I’m actually trying to get John to give me a spare set of keys to his apartment so I can go round and play when he’s not home. In the meantime though I bought a similar game called Guitar Hero which is roughly half as good.

In Guitar Hero you play the guitar in a similar way to on Rock Band, but the songs tend towards the cheese end of rock (Wolfmother, Motorhead, Aerosmith), the characters on the screen aren’t singing along to the same song you’re playing, the option to have a second guitar just feels like it’s tacked on (sometimes you’re not actually playing anything at all with the second guitar), and none of the music is taken from the original songs.

John Nitis on vocals, James Christopher Creegan on the geetar and Dingle “I don’t use my real name online” X behind the camera

Then again, Rock Band costs 150USD from Amazon and I got the 2 guitars and a dodgy copy of Guitar Hero III for my Wii for 505RMB (about 75USD)

Hmm, reminds me of university

Fake copy of Guitar Hero III plus two guitar controllers 505RMB
From an orange coloured shop on Beijing Lu, West of the junction with Changde Lu

Me: So how long has your girlfriend been in England?

Him: Nearly two years

Me: Aha- she probably has another boyfriend by now!

Him: No she could never get another boyfriend, her body is no good.

Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the greatest idea since Cheeseburger in a can

(Blanc de blanc) Champagne in a can!

Now I know what you’re thinking, Champagne is a wine fermented in dark French cellars by craftsmen wearing white gloves and top hats. Maybe so, but it’s also true that the majority of Champagne is drank by braying idiots who are too busy air-kissing good-looking people that they secretly hate to have any clue what they’re tasting.

Bar Rouge, Muse, Lounge 18 etc. will be serving this up by next week, charging through the nose for it and none of the cretins in there will even notice. Vive la revolution!

I’m not sure whether this is a good idea though:

an all-you-can-drink special in an airport? Dubious.