Hot damn. Last night I went to ZhongShan park and bought a load of generic Chinese contact lenses.

I think they make them by cutting a circle out of a plastic Coke bottle and melting it into shape with a cigarette lighter. Very uncomfortable and I can hardly see a thing. 450RMB well spent.

In fact it was a bad shopping trip all-round: couldn’t find the fishtank I wanted to buy (for the turtles), realised I had no money left in my Chinese bank account, and then forgot the PIN number to my UK bank account.

Have you ever forgotten your PIN number? Oh it’s humiliating- there’s just a moment of doubt as you put the numbers in the first time and the machine smells fear.

PIN Number Incorrect _

Incorrect? That’s impossible, I’m an upright member of the commuinty, ask the parish Priest.
My finger must have slipped up, let me try again:

PIN Number Incorrect _

Sweat prickles your hands, you weren’t really thinking about the number before and now you’ve got one try left and a head full of thousands of possible numbers.

Think. Think!

It’s 91something. Or something91. Definitely.

Or 92something.

As the frustration builds up, I start weeping, hot wet tears falling on the screen as I mash the keypad with my fists, hitting random digits in a furious tempest.

PIN Number Incorrect _

I know! I know!