If you cast your mind back to Christmastime, you’ll remember that my brother got himself all married up to a lovely lady called Sharon.

Well， guess what?！

She is with child!

What we know about the baby so far is that it’s due at the end of September, seems healthy, and is going to be a big England fan. Other than that, all is shrouded in mystery.

Since they want to keep the gender a surprise (although let’s be honest, there are only two options so how surprising can it really be?) and people on the internet know everything, I’ve pixellated out the vital areas to stop any unauthorised guesswork.

My sister has three children so I’ve already had lots of practice at being an uncle- but this time is going to be different- this time I’m determined not to drop the baby, they make a terrible fuss if you do.