I think every classy gent needs a good collection of booze in their house- even Muslim clerics should have a cupboard somewhere with a few cool looking bottles that they can crack open on Christmas Eve.

For a while back there I tried to get into Whisky because I thought a few single malt bottles would look cool which it would, it’s just a shame that the stuff inside them tastes like sour Listerine. Then I got a load of that Johnnie Walker nonsense- Gold, Green, Blue- but it all tastes like old library books mixed with petrol to me.

I still drink Bourbon- Jack Daniels and such which is probably like preferring a McRib burger to a Berkshire chop, but generally speaking Whisky is not for me.

Vodka is appealing, cool bottles with grey geese or onion domes on them, but at the end of the day, the best vodka in the world is supposed to taste of nothing. Also it makes you wet the bed.

Rum, glorious rum

Now though I’ve found my true calling: Rum.

The bottles have cool drawings of island type people rolling barrels of hooch next to palm trees, it comes from places I thought were fictional (Guadelope! Marie-Galante!), it’s the favourite drink of both Ernest Hemingway and Pirates- well I think I’ve made my point.

I’m going to this thing tonight to drink deep of my new elixir, think I might even turn up wearing a linen suit and panama hat too. You can’t do that whilst drinking whisky.