Now those aren’t “pop sox”, they go up too high, but they’re a long way shy of stockings.

Whatever the name for this hosiery is, they make me feel funny- like if you eat three Ice Cream KitKats then roll down a hill. The funny straps on the ankles also give me the heebie-jeebies.

You’re going to the park woman! Put on something that will offer lumbar support!