Published by Swiss James on 27 Feb 2008 at 01:12 pm
I am massively important
Since I’ve started writing for a website called Shanghaiist, I’ve become a hugely, hugely important figure on the Shanghai nightlife scene.
Why, only last night I attended the opening of a new restaurant called Laurel And Hardy’s Prime Rib where the free wine flowed like water, and me and some other very impotent people eventually baffled the Chef fella into giving us some free beef.
an important friend of mine at a very important event for important people
And yet I still can’t manage to secure a coveted VIP card (40% off drinks, a free party hat on your birthday etc.) for my local bar- The Spot. My boss has this card and uses every opportunity to taunt me with it. They gave it to him just because he plays football with some Germans at the weekend, behaviour which should be punished rather than rewarded if you ask me.
The last time they invited my boss to one of their special VIP events (free booze, mechanical robots to do your every bidding) I wrote to The Spot to ask them if there was room for a loyal and true customer who lives just around the corner and promises not to eat all the nibbles. No dice.
So I now pronounce from my blogging tower that no-one should ever, ever go to The Spot on Tongren Lu. All of their beer has rats in it, and the kitchen is staffed by malnourished Bengali street children, snatched from their mother’s teat*. They will rue the day they refused to give free stuff to me!
*alledgedly
But James those Bengali children prepare a really good beef tenderloin at an incredibly low price, so how am I supposed to boycott this place? I don’t like beer so is it okay if I just boycott the beer?
And surely the solution is to start your own football team and get The Spot to sponsor the team.
Isn’t that Dave Tucker (Robson Green) from Soldier Soldier?
stop saying nice things about The Spot!!
[You don't like any beer? You should try the Leibinger Blonde they have in there, it's delicious.]
no it’s Thomas from England France. He’s the man who imports all the Absinthe into Shanghai. And I bet he’s reading this- hi!
Leibinger Blonde? Is that like a designer beer? Is it the Tiffany of beers? If so it sounds like the one for me!
Have you ever seen me drink beer James? I mean apart from in Windows where it’s the only thing you can drink without spilling half of it in the crowd!
“me and some other very impotent people”
lol
Lawry’s is MASSIVELY delicious. I plan to go at least once a month - or when I can afford it.
very good T- let’s all spend the money we would have spent on The Spot (boo! No free stuff!) on Lawry’s Prime Rib (yay! Lots of free stuff!)
Unless we live in Cambridge, in which case the in-place is, as always:
Charlie Chan’s Chinese Chestaurant, next to Oddbins.
Burn them James, burn them real good.
I think one meal at Lawry’s would last you a good month at the Spot. Or at least me.
Bloody hell, you stirred up a bit of a shit storm writing about animal cruelty on there didn’t you? God only knows what they’d think if they visited your blog.
James, thanks for the plug, cheque’s in the post! And I’ve now got a serious boner for some prime rib!!
Woai: shouldn’t you have a boner for a T-bone steak? =)