Published by Swiss James on 17 Dec 2007 at 12:09 pm
“Which beer tastes the best?” A Chinese beer taste test
So I’m at the Supermarket, laden down with shopping and the assistant came over to help me by putting some beer in the basket.”Which one do you want?” she asked me.
And in that moment, I saw a sudden blinding flash and an idea came to me
“All of them”
“All of them?”
“Yes, one of that one, one of that one, one of that one…“.
“Hmm. Oi 张明! You’d better bring a basket. This bald foreigner’s an alcoholic“
See, a few weeks ago- me and Craig had been talking about doing a taste test. Beer in the supermarket is stupidly cheap, 3 or 4 RMB for a can or bottle of domestic beer, the same for Japanese and a couple of foreign brands. Before I came here, I’d never tried any Chinese beer other than TsingTao and I always just assume that’s the best one, but never really sat down and compared what was out there.
Clearly, it was time for a taste test.
So that we weren’t influenced by the eye-catching designs of the cans, or prejudice towards any particular brand, we used paper cups separated into three groups (one for each person). We wrote the names of the different beers on the bottom of the cup, poured some of that beer in, then mixed ‘em up.Simple enough really, but it took a pHd scientist and two Maths graduates about forty minutes to work that out.
To get the results we added up our individual rankings (1-7) and whoever got the lowest score won.
Matthew “Corky” Corcoran. Australian lightweight / beer sipper
The Results
(in reverse order)
Last Place- Reeb
The only beer made in Shanghai, Reeb has a bad reputation, and with good bloody reason.
Meakin “It tastes like….weak beer”
Me “No flavour whatsoever”
Matt “I’d like it better if it had no flavour, tastes terrible”.
6th place- Bud
Cheap, American, freely available- it’s the Christina Aguilera of beer. Didn’t fair well against the locals.
Matt- “I’m so proud that I picked this as my number 7″
Me- “Hangin”
Meakin “(Who placed it as his number 3) It’s alright actually. I’m a boney fidey Yankee!”
5th Place- Premium Suntory
The premium offering from Suntory placed lower than the regular stuff. Some poor sod at this Japanese brewer will have to perform ritual suicide when they read this.
Meakin- “(Who placed it as his number 7) Tastes chemically- I think that board marker is leaking through the paper cups…I’d better finish it off quick.”
4th Place- Tsingtao
The old standby, available at every restaurant I’ve been to, and probably some of the ones I haven’t.
Meakin- “I think Matt’s got tainted cups.”
Matt- “It doesn’t taste of anything”
Me- “That’s beause you’re only drinking the froth off the top, get it down you- you shirker!”
3rd - Asahi
Japanese beer, popular because of the cool silver can, and apparently also because it tastes pretty good.
Meakin- “(Placing it fifth)Hoppy. I don’t actually know what that means, I’ve just heard people say it. Anyway this one tastes fucking shit”
Me- “Well at least it actually tastes of something. That’ll do for me”
2nd - Suntory
It’s got a dragon on the can and a rocket in its pocket.
Matt (delighted to have shown some consistency by voting two Japanese beers as his top 2)- “Fucking Nihon!”
1st - Harbin
Cheap and nasty looking beer from the frozen wastelands of the north where they talk like pirates. This was the big surprise of the night.
Me- “Really nice is that”
Matt- “It’s the new Tsingtao!”
Me- “It’s the new black!”
Meakin “Is there any more Bud left?”
Meakin struggles to keep his mind on the task at hand
So there you have it, the unfashionable, bargain basement brew Harbin wins out when the lights are off.
It just goes to show, something or other.
Harbin Ale- Available at all good Chinese bicycle repair shops and the occasional Supermarket. Cheap.
bud is disgusting! i have to hope that’s not the only american beer that’s available there . . . for god’s sake we call it “butt” (”butt” light for the light weights). yuck! *gag* shiver *gag*
just out of curiosity, but why no english beers?
Angie, re: english beers, James’ corner shop isn’t noted for their beer selection.
I was gutted when Bud was my third best, but there were some genuinely minging beers there, plus they were all lukewarm, all lager tastes crap lukewarm, I reckon the Bud was just a few 10ths of a degree colder and that threw me off.
It was a proper scientific test mind you, we were sniffing coffee granules between each taste to cleanse our palettes and all that!
Creegan, maybe we need a re-taste, with whisky chasers between each one!
damnitt I didn’t mention the coffee!
Thoughts for next time:
* plastic beakers (are you listening to this Corky?)
* uniform coolness- although I reckon you can taste it more when it’s room temperature
* all beers must be finished- (again, Corky, listening?)
* no sleep till Brooklyn
* lederhosen
Dingle: ewwww! warm beer! warm “butt”?! double ick.
yay! to whisky chasers . . . you mean whisky “c-l-e-a-n-s-e-r-s”.
James: “no sleep till Brooklyn”? ???
it wasn’t warm! The shop I bought it from was very chilly as was the kitchen where they rested, dingle’s just trying to excuse his appalling taste.
* lemon scented wipes
*paper doilies
* A pristine copy of “Ellla Fitzgerald Sings The Cole Porter Songbook”
I think we’d all like to hear from Matt at this stage, wouldn’t we?
COR-KY! COR-KY! COR-KY!
* A selection of Barbara Cartland novels
* Wildebeeste musk
COR-KY! COR-KY!
* monogrammed linen handkerchiefs
*wine spritzers to replace beer
*placebo in the form of a cup of urine
My great great grandpapa was sent to the colonies for stealing a beer and the stuff has tasted bitter like Reeb to all generations after.
But work, like life, goes on.
i can’t believe you guys have missed it:
*buxom girls to serve the beers on silver platters . . .
Just caught a glimpse of something in picture 2 behind the Reeb bottle. You could make it into a kind of ‘Where’s Wally’ in your future photos.
its like spot the odd one out…
Meakin (the only one with hair)
or Creegan (the only one without any choice)
* buxom Angie to serve the beer
* replace beer with Champagne
*pepperoni pizza to clear the palette
Am I too late to be first? Damn business trips!
James is Corky the same lightweight that left early that night at Oscars because he had to get up early the next day?
* replace lightweight
* A complete set of the Oxford English Dictionary (ISBN-10: 0198611862)
Ideally I’d wait for the third edition but this is unlikely to be published until 2018. How urgent is the rematch?
angie is not buxom . . . but is willing to serve beers in exchange for room if/when i get to shanghai . . .
OMG what *IS* that behind the reeb? is that a stack of nudey cards?!
Angie, it’s James’ Chinese herbal vi-agra. Works great but has some side effects which should be obvious!
Corky is indeed the fella who works every weekend and so is rarely seen at social gatherings, and when he does he has to get home early for his beauty sleep.
Rule number 1 about the thing behind the reeb bottle in picture number 2 is that we don’t talk about the thing behind the reeb bottle in picture number 2.
Evan- we’re having a separate party for that release.
Angie, you’re almost right, let’s just say it’s something which helps James achieve tumescence in his generative member
i love Pils.
maybe something fantastic,however,bargain stuffs are somdtimes niglected due to vanity,which makes LV&Prada popular.In another word,the sales would be cut down if the price gets down.