Published by Swiss James on 13 Dec 2007 at 12:04 pm
“But I always sit around in my y-fronts at home, I was just trying it out”
In Westgate Mall right now (that’s the one just east of Citic Square on Nanjing Road shopping centre fans) Panasonic have a big demonstration of their massage chairs all set out.
If you imagine me in this chair, with a little drool coming out of my mouth- well that’s how it looked.
I was in there the other day buying fabulous gifts for Emma (OK OK, trying on ear-rings) when I saw tired shoppers sitting in these things, kicking off their shoes and generally making an exhibition of themselves. My initial thought was that these people had no shame, parading their socks in public for everyone to see, but then I figured what the hell, you’re only hungover 3 times a week- and tried one out.
Mercy mercy, mercy me- as soon as I turned the thing on it began to grip my legs in a leather upholstered hug, and emit waves of pleasure up and down my spine. For 20 minutes I lay in that chair, ignoring the stares of other shoppers and the requests from the demonstration staff to keep my voice down.
From the brochure- can your chair do soft shiatsu?
Basically if this thing could cook Lemon Meringue pie, I’d be looking into some kind of civil ceremony, and me and Mrs Comfortizer 95011 (with heated seat option) would be very, very happy together.
those are brilliant aren’t they! a few years back, the siblings and i got together and bought a pair for the parents . . . let’s just say they really enjoy watching their new tv with access to korean television just a tad more . . .
Oh, BTW: #1 WoAi . . .
Not fair I was at a client meeting.
So how much do they go for? I just get my bitches (yes, plural) to massage me when I need it, a lot cheaper.
I am in Nanjing now, got here yesterday. Let me know when you are coming here to visit, James - I need that Simpsons Monopoly back from you ASAP, without the bloody thing no ladies will give me the time of day, christ, even the stret hawkers ignore me.
I once lay on a ‘vibrating bed’ in a seedy motel in Massachusetts with really bad surnburn but I don’t like to talk about it.
Neil x
P.S. Have you read Prisoner 13498? It’s well good
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Prisoner-13498-Story-Prison-Modern/dp/1840185945
Woai: . . . and by “client” you mean? . . .
Missbels: sorry about using “and” to start the sentence, but i did qualify it with the ellipsis. =)
Why buy the chair when you can be part of the display, for free. I bet lots of weary shoppers love taking a break at that store, in that chair. Funny Woai, thinks I’m you. I could probably have some fun with that, but I won’t. My comments and observations are genuine and come from the other side of the planet. Keep up the good blogging.
Angie, by client I mean client!
Shy, ok I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt if you stop being so complimentary about James’ blogging. His head is big enough as it is after being voted hottest China blog by some obscure s-i-t-e that uses dubious methods to derive the rankings!
Woai: i’m just saying is all . . .
let’s face it though, the posts are rubbish, they bore me to tears, it’s only the comments that are worth reading.
Come on JC, hand over that trophy!
I never bother with the posts, I just read the comments. Dingle should that be a semi colon after “posts” or a comma?
Anyway, JC, if you’re off out after you’ve finished swinging tonight give us a bell, I’ll come out and get the goss.
Who really “kneads” a chair like this? No Thai massage with happy ending option is a deal killer….