Published by Swiss James on 30 Nov 2007 at 11:42 am
Beijing
I almost went to Beijing this weekend, almost in the sense that Emma said “Let’s go to Beijing” and I said “OK!“, but then my boss said “Let’s work on Saturday” and I said “OK!“.
So now I’m not going.
Forgive me father, it has been 11 months since I came to Shanghai and I still haven’t visited anywhere in China except Suzhou. Perhaps if they moved Beijing closer, or had trains that left from outside the Eager Beaver at 4am. Shanghai is very pretty though, especially in the clear autumn sun. Here’s a photo of a blimp edging past the JinMao tower and the Gilded Palace Of Shimmering Prestige (or whatever the hell that building is called).
Why the blazes did this never take off as a method of public transport?
You just can’t say no can you James. How come when Emma said let’s go to Beijing this weekend you didn’t say “I’d love to but I’ve already agreed to go to WoAi’s on Sunday”? Invitation has been duly withdrawn, so there!
Woai: . . . because you don’t kiss as well as Emma (I’m guessing . . .)
James: I’m sorry you had to work on a Saturday - that blows! But maybe you and Emma can go to Beijing next weekend or some time sooner than later . . .
Angie how could you say that! My kissing is up there with the best kissers and if anyone wants to put it to the test, I say bring it on!
Angie- quick American question- what is the difference between something that sucks, and something that blows? It seems to me like one should be the opposite of the other, like flammable and inflammable, but it seems to not be the case.
WoAi- oh I only made that rash promise to you yesterday, but the rash promise to go to Bejing was made several weeks ago. Anyway how do you know whether you’re any good at kissing, you’re not even married!
Yes the English language is probably one of the most irregular and illogical which is why I am glad I never had to learn it as a foreign language. And why is a blowjob called a blowjob! I’ve been lucky enough to experience this on rare occasions, and it seems a very inappropriate label.
James, I am one of those non-traditionalists who believes in kissing before marriage.
So James, if you were to prioritise the things in your life it would go something like:
1 - Work
2 - Woai
3 - Emma
I think the closest you’ve been to travelling in China so far is that time we were in Harleys and we were trying to figure out how to get to the club where some famous MC was playing (do MC’s play?) and it turned out it was in another city about 1000 miles away (Tianjin?).
I reckon I’m quite a good kisser too, I practise every day with a ring doughnut you know.
Inflammable - Flammable, I see Woai’s not biting yet.
dingle- the funny thing about that Jin / TianJin debacle is that he then went on to play twice a week at bonbon for a month and I only went the once. We were in The Spot anyway, in Harley’s they would have called us a cab and given us a flask of snake wine for the journey.
WoAi- I just hope my mother doesn’t read this, kissing before marriage is expressly forbidden in the Bible. On page 461.
Emma- don’t listen to these fools my little pumpkin. You know you mean the world to me, let me light some candles and sing you a song to drown out these voices:
“Close your eyes, give me your hand- darling. Can you feeeeeel my heart beeating? Do you understand? Do yooo feel the saaaaayymmme!? Am I only dreea-aming, or iiiz thiss burning (burning) an Eternal Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!“
Dingle I made a comment regarding flammable and inflammable - I think the censor deleted it.
James the bible only has 460 pages what are you talking about? Oops sorry I got it mixed up with the other book by my bedside, the Karma something can’t remember the full title. I don’t know who wrote it but he’s not a prude I can tell you that much.
Is that the Atomic Kitten version or the original Bangles version?
Woai, is it that book on macrobiotic cooking, “Karma Cookbook” by Boy George and Dragana Brown. ISBN-10: 1903258162
Well he’s right, Boy George is no prude. A mate of mine met him in a club once and he made a suggestion to him which was quite unsavoury.
Bangles version of course, Atomic Kitten are strumpets of the second class.
Yes that’s the one. It is full of recipes and tips which I have found really useful as a beginner on the Macrobiotic road. The pages are nicely presented, easy to understand and include pictures. There are also short descriptions of different ingredients in this book. The recipes include soups, main meals, extras, breakfasts, teas and desserts.
you filthy ANIMAL
Read a guy’s blog for years and you think you know him. Then he drops a Bangles song on your ass…
James: in American English there is little difference between “sucks” and “blows” - they both have the intended meaning for “not good”. But (from a woman’s perspective) when giving a blowjob, lemme tell you, it sucks. and it IS a job!
Woai: . . . just kissing before marriage right?!
Dingle: re practice kissing on a ring donut - doesn’t that get a bit messy with the glaze and all?
Oh Angie I am disappointed you regard it as a job - surely it’s more of a privilege! Yep, only kissing and blow jobs before marriage (it’s sort of kissing anyway).
And donut or no donut, kissing is always going to be messy with Dingle!
William G - James never did anything as shocking as reciting Bangles lyrics before he met Emma. Coincidence? I think not!
Woai: it’s especially a privilege when I’m giving one . . . but it’s still a JOB.
Groups like the Bangles and anything Lilith Fair-like deserves to go into the Tampon Top 40 Category . . .
Angie, I spoke to a girl who was once kissed by Woai, she said it was like eating a live octopus, she was gipping and everything.
Angie,
To me a job implies you receive remuneration…..you’d best be careful what you imply
daeguowl: all men pay in some way when they have a partner . . .
dingle: ew, he smells as well
Shopgirl, that’ll be the Wildebeeste pheromones, he bathes in it you know, swears by the stuff.
must be that or just too sweaty after all the girls chasing him …(or not, lol)
I was out on the town with WoAi on Saturday and am happy to report that he has a natural scent which Calvin Klein would kill to put in a bottle.
Cheers James, actually it’s already available in the shops exclusively in Shanghai at Parkson. It’s called CK WoAyeeeeee …….