ISpyShanghai

In the interests of full disclosure, a third of this post was written by Mr David G Dumenil.

Impressive Mr Dumenil. Been in China only a few days and already looking at ways to improve things back home in Blighty. But I distinctly remember having mash and gravy from Kentucky Fried Chicken back in London when I was at school - do they not do that anymore?

They have gravy, but I don’t reckon they had mash. Although who really knows what goes on down London way

We’re middle class and we go to KFC.

I imagine it’s all ‘pie and mash’ and ‘jellied eels’ at KFC in London James, makes me shudder.

Dingle don’t forget the mushy peas!

surely mushy peas were a northern invention?

I disagree - Pete Heyes IS ate at KFC all the time and he must be middle class given he owns a slave.

Did you catch the England score by the way?

Even I sometimes send my people to KFC to get me some lunch and I’m upper class. I wouldn’t go in myself though - I’m allergic to peasants!

yeah I hear you can’t even get mushy peas down south, Peter Kay said so.

Dunc- I know I know- maybe your lot and our lot can get together and play some sort of partonising, pointless home international tournament? Either that or mass suicide I reckon.

Bozzley- maybe down your way the KFC is all linen napkins and fine bone china, but you want to have a look in Northenden branch. The counter is covered in bullet proof plexi-glass and the staff wear stab vests. Even the Colonel wears a helmet.

WoAi- then how come you went to McD’s yourself, surely the Colonel outranks the clown

Peter, is that all peasants or just the males?

I’m sure a legendary swordsman such as yourself can’t be allergic to the female peasant.

James - I was in a hurry and everyone knows if you want something done right (ie quickly) you have to do it yourself.

Dingle - Quite right, when I said peasants, I obviously don’t include farmers’ daughters. They’re fine, at least the one I met last week was damn fine, scrubbed up real nice.

What about students studying and young people dating at KFC? Couldn’t think of a better venue myself, actually.

I always bring my dates to Starbucks - I am a classy guy!

You can’t study in KFC, it’s too noisy! Get yourself down to Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Oiya- their lunch sets are the business and it’s nice and quiet.

WoAi- she said young people dating

James, I do occasionally date young people and have bought my fair share of happy meals as you well know!

Fellas, I was being sarcastic, I couldn’t think of a more ridiculously absurd place for dating or studying!

Woai: how often do you have to “do it yourself”? =)

yeah, i’d think it would be weird to take a date out and then be mistaken for her father . . . but does she get a “toy” with that happy meal? =)

Oiya: of course you were just having a little fun . . . it’s not like you suggested McDonald’s!

Angie - whenever I want things done right! This is Asia, it’s quite common to see older guys with pretty young thangs, so nobody gives a second look, plus I am lucky enough not to look my actual age, which is 65!

So in Doncaster they’d have them down the shafts, I’d guess.