If you’re ever in the neighbourhood- this place on Beijing Lu, near Shaanxi Lu is my favourite massage place in town.

Blind massage centre

As you can sort of tell from the sign, it’s a blind massage place, meaning that most of the masseuses (masseuii? 天这道) are, you know, blind, which supposedly makes them more skilful at rubbing your knots. I don’t believe that’s true, but you still get a great rub down at this place- fully clothed with a sheet over you, they work on your back, shoulders, face, scalp, hands, arms and legs (nothing else, sorry Wiggy) for about 45 minutes for 42RMB. Bargain.

In fact I enjoy it so much, that I often want to go more than anyone really should.Once a week is pretty acceptable I think, but any more than that and it’s a bit weird. Thankfully they’re all blind so I just have to remember to rotate my comedy accents and fake names when I talk to the staff.
It’s my ambition to get through a whole session in there just talking Chinese- then at the end I’ll do a Scoobie Doo ending

“Thankyou. By the way, I’m a foreigner- surprise!”

In my imagination they’ll explode with shock and awe, then we’ll high five each other and agree that I’m the coolest person in China.