ISpyShanghai

Have you ever been to Shanghai Zoo? I have. It’s smashing.

In the north of the city On the western edge of the city, near the other airport (Hongqiao), an easy taxi ride away from anywhere in the city so don’t bother with the subway. I went with Sam and Barclay when they were visiting and like 90% of the people there, we were mainly interested in seeing Pandas.

Up close and personal, Pandas look sort of cuddly, and sort of disgusting- imagine if you saw a grown-up Elmo from Sesame Street, with cat food in his beard, scratching his gnarled back against a tree.

Not a Panda. [Thanks to Sam for the photo!]

More entertaining were the apes and monkeys (I know there’s a difference, but I don’t know what it is) that were shouting and taunting each other from the gaps between their cages. What I wouldn’t give to see the one night a year where the zookeepers throw open those cages and let them knife fight to a monkeyblood-soaked conclusion.

Not a monkey. [Thanks to Sam for the photo!]

A lovely day out, although I have to be honest; I had a hangover that could fell a tree on that particular day. For at least 45 minutes I was laid out on a bench, pouring water onto my face wondering where the nearest paramedic station was.

Also, there’s a part of the zoo that is taken up entirely with different breeds of dogs. Can you imagine the noise of 100-200 dogs all barking at each other? Is that something you’d enjoy with a hangover?

No.
Steer clear of this section.

Shanghai Zoo; 65 RMB (including Pandas)

…but I’m so worth the wait”

Thanks to Emma for pointing this out this fashion victim in Suzhou.

Most people grow up wanting to be the good guy in the films. The cops, not the robbers- the guy in the bowtie with the laser watch, not the one with the bald head stroking the cat.

Somewhere along the line though, the line between right and wrong becomes blurred; is lying OK if you’re doing it to prevent hurting someone’s feelings? Is it stealing if you don’t tell the waitress she’s given you too much change? Is it really an ‘unprovoked’ physical assault if you bash someone’s head in with a desktop printer because their ringtone is “The Shoop Shoop Song”?*

Similarly in the sometimes seedy nightlife of Shanghai there are many subtle shades of what the uneducated would call ‘prostitution’ . There are entertainers, Tiger girls, bar girls, ‘butterflies’, hostesses, ‘chickens’, and those girls on Tongren Lu who will literally jump into the taxi with you if you don’t shut the door quickly enough.

But if you yourself are starting to worry that you are a prostitute , help is at hand from the kindly bouncers at Zapatas- Shanghai’s premier place to hear the Grease mega-mix 6 times a week.

Thanks to Peter for taking the photo, and (surprise, surprise) Wiggy for passing it along.

*Unfortunately the Wolverhampton Magistrates court ruled that, yes. Yes it was.

wooden crate

Work seems to be taking up all of my life at the minute. Was in the office until 10pm on Friday night, back in on Sunday afternoon, no lunchtime today to do a proper post.

Here’s a few photos of the new terminal- direct links from flickr so if they’re blocked wherever you are, blame The Man.

The departure board in the new terminal at Pudong

Some workmates- (l to r) Xiao Xi, Jay, Tony- all apparently delighted to be working overtime

“About 42 percent of women with unplanned pregnancies had unprotected sex“

[from The Shanghai Daily, via Emma]

I would suggest that after the pregnancy test, they take a polygraph.

Spotted at Longyang Lu station, line 2

Well you’ve got me worried now, I’ve taken Shy’s advice.

Check out this monster that flew into my office yesterday

It’s an evil looking blighter isn’t it? All razor sharp fangs and barbed claws.

We tried to execute it humanely, using an electric tennis racket, but the thing just would not die.

As far as I know, we don’t have these things back home, but in China they’re called Di Lao Hu (地老虎) meaning “Earth Tiger”.
They got the name because they burrow themselves into the ground and eat the roots of plants- just like Tigers never, ever do.

Since it survived a good few minutes on the ole’ tennis racket, we’ve decided to let it live in the office pot plant. I imagine it takes a 4cm long insect quite a while to munch through a 1.5m high rubber tree, so by the time it emerges and reaps a terrible revenge against the people who tortured it, I should be on a plane back to the UK.

…and off he goes