Once I get the sack from this job (for my embezzlement scheme where I steal 50-60 office pens per day and sell them down Nanjing Road at the weekend- shhh!), the plan is to go on the streets as a rag and bone man. My Father wasn’t in the rag trade, neither was his Father, nor his Father’s Father and so on stretching back for generations- so I should pick it up pretty quickly.

The way it seems to work over here is that you ride around the streets ringing a small bell- this bell attracts people how are snowed under with masses of cardboard, plastic bottles, and recyclable goods who are only too glad to give it to you. Then you ride down to the docks where there are people prepared to give you cold hard cash for the stuff, which I assume they then eat. I’ve done the figures, and it all stacks up pretty well:

Outgoings

  • Fancy bicycle with three wheels and a trailer on the back: 200RMB
  • Bell: 20RMB

Incomings

  • Selling cardboard to dodgy characters down by the docks who FREAK OUT if you try to take their photo: 10RMB per day
  • Selling plastic bottles to dodgy characters down by the docks who should really chillax, it’s a camera not some kind of laser stun ray: 20RMB per day
  • Selling cardboard boxes to people who are moving house: 250RMB per day (I’m really going to sting those poor suckers hehe)
  •  Money I find randomly on the street whilst riding around looking fly: 3,060RMB per day

RAGBOOOONE!