ISpyShanghai

Last night I was paying for some sandwiches (alcohol-free sandwiches, 3 days on the wagon so far) when the lady behind the counter informed me I’d given her a fake 10RMB bill.

When she gave me it back, I could tell that she was indeed telling the truth. So to help out other poor suckers like me, here are a few ways to spot fake bills in China.

The first sign is the feel of the paper. Real notes are made from mashed up Panda fur and fold easily to the touch, the fake ones are just old cigarette papers and glue. They’re as stiff as (very thin) cardboard and will slice your hand open before you can say ‘Jack Knife’.

The second sign is the water mark; the real McCoy has the delicate hue of lightly toasted bread and depicts the petals of a rose. The no-good faker is a ditchwater brown with some kind of childish squiggle.

The third sign is the markings on the far right of the note- the 12 reed-like lines are hard to reproduce on even modern laser printers and tend to come out dark and smudged. As you can see here, the counterfeit note has completely forgotten to include them. A schoolboy error.

Be careful out there.

When I lived in Korea, most of the locals would cope with the rising heat and humidity of summer by going into shopping malls and buying shirts with slogans like:

“Express yourself in the feeling! Power-play tooth quest!”

The average Shanghainese however, faces the problem head-on, and falls asleep. Whether it’s a taxi driver with his seat reclined and feet out of the window by the side of a major road, a commuter holding onto her strap on the packed subway, or the dangerous driver of a 20 tonne truck full of pigs, the Chinese people can catch ZZZs pretty much anywhere.

I haven’t watched the Olympics for, ooh, it must be at least 3 years, but if competitive napping is on the program for Beijing 2008 then I expect China to sweep the board- place your bets now before the rush.

But what to wear in the summer? Most of the fellas around my way tend to go for the bare chest and shorts look (FYI going to the gym hasn’t really taken off in Shanghai) but those that do cover up, go for pyjamas.

When I say “pyjamas” I’m not having a dig at the traditional Chinese silken outfit, I’m talking about genuine over-sized-buttons, flanellete, big-lapelles, pictures-of-teddy-bears-wearing-nightgowns, the full bit. What is bizarre though, is that I’ve never seen someone wearing pyjamas whilst having a nap. A shiny new donkey for anyone who can send me a photo of that.