Published by Swiss James on 30 Jun 2007 at 01:19 am
On a break
There comes a time in a man’s life where he must give up the thing he loves, in order that it may come back to him with a passion stronger than ever. It is for this, amongst other reasons that I have decided to give up the booze for a period encompassing 04:00 July 1st 2007AD, to 19:30 July 20th 2007AD. I know, I know- that’s one hell of a long time (sorry for the swear, it’s to drive home the point)- but I feel like it’s somewhat overdue, and this is as good a time as any.I hatched this idea a few weeks ago when I worked out that I’ve been drunk somewhere between 1,000 and 1,500 times in my life so far and the thought of going without drink makes my teeth sweat. Scientists have a name for someone who can’t stop drinking (I won’t say it, it’s an ugly word), and latest research has shown that these people don’t always lead fulfilling and horrific-motorcycle-death-plunge free lives.To wit, I see the following Benefits To Giving Up Drinking:
- I might lose a pound or two. A blind masseur told me I was fat last week- which is a new low. If I want to get into those Ice White Speedos at the beach I’ll need to trim an inch or two off my generous belly. (By the by, it’s OK to hit a blind guy if they’re not wearing the dark glasses right?)
- I’ll have more time to spend on my figurines and puzzles. I bought a wooden Kingfisher construction kit at the “Everything for 2 RMB” shop last month and haven’t even started on it [reading that again, I can hardly believe that it's actually true]
- I’m actually, finally curious to find out what happens between the hours of 6am-2pm on Saturday and Sundays. Do all of the old people and parents with young kids run around shouting “Ours! It’s all ours!”?
- The next time someone tells me I have an alcohol problem, I can throw this brief period of abstinence in their stupid face. This goes for Judges, Priests, lollipop ladies, the security guards at Toys’R'Us, those holier-than-thou homeless guys down at the docks- anyone who gives me grief
As well as the numerousish benefits above, there are a few things that don’t involve drinking which I enjoy doing these days:
- Emma
- Riding around on my bike, giving the thumbs up to market vendors
- Eating pizza in my underwear
- (oh come on Emma, that was funny!)
- Flying kites
- Taking photos
- (alright fine, I’ll take it down later)
- Going to fancy restaurants and/or KFC
So yeah- Saturday’s my last day on the pop. Scary.
oh weill, I will just have to drink on my own……I wonder how long it will take before you crumble?
I’ve gone two months before, so have faith; there is hope…not much, though.
will your consumption of colas increase?!
how will the bartenders make ends meet?!
what about the economy?! does social responsibility mean nothing?!
*actually, i wish you only the best of luck. i like to think that i can stop when ever i want . . . i just don’t want to right now . . .
Stop this madness!
emma, you’ve changed him
It’s the beginning of the end for the thriving Shanghai bar industry!
Good for you, James.
Why don’t you make a scale model of that space rockety looking building in Shanghai out of matches? Prove your hands havent been shaking for 3 weeks. Still, looking forward to the bus-conductor-hat-Benny-Hill-salute photo at 2017 on July 20.
I should stop drinking
Wiggy- I reckon I can stick with you for the classy stages of the evening, dinner and polite conversation etc. But by the time you hit Tongren with a a gleam in your eye and a skinful, I’ll head off to Church to pray for your sins
GardnerMark- YOU quit for TWO MONTHS!? Blinking heck I wouldn’t have expected that, you my friend can drink with the best of them.
Angie- I’m thinking fizzy water, Coke would be too sweet if I had more than 1 or 2. Plus I don’t really like fizzy water so I’ll probably drink a glass at the same speed as I would a pint of beer!
dingle- losing to you at ping-pong was the final straw so you’re part of the problem
msg- maybe, but I don’t think Emma’s that keen on the idea to tell you the truth- the other day she said “You know I’m still going to drink right?”
WoAi- aye, you should hit The Spot now whilst it’s doors are still open
Champagne Seoulcialist (who I presume will be temporarily changing his name in solidarity)- You mean the Pearl Tower? that would be a challenge alright. But I’ll never smoke enough cigs to get the matchsticks together in time.
Shopgirl- No no no, you have to drink more to take up my slack
Alright, but I’m not giving up my breakfast soju latte mochaccino
I told you you were fat years ago and that never altered you consumption. and you’re bald, will that stop you smoking now too?
Donny Rovers vs Retford 10th July - is anyone going?
and DOnny vs Man utd 3rd August - same question?
Wiggy, I still up for getting sloshed so don’t worry.
James, not sure what you see in The Spot. I don’t think its closing would be a bad thing (note: no apostrphe in “its”!).
I fully commend mr creegan’s attempted abstinence, but feel the need to point out a bit of hypocricy: when i told him i was going to do the same thing while i was staying in tokyo, a month or so before i visited him, you would not believe the amount of grief he gave me. he even went as far as to demand i revisit the bottle otherwise i’d not be welcome in his pad - thus my remaining gut is to be blamed on mr swiss. i do, however, have to hold my hands up and take some of the blame for his slip, having told the lovely emma he used to be in pretty decent shape in korea, stirring a pot of insecurity and sexual power play. one night at her place and he turns up the next day all sheepish “i think i’m giving up the booze in july.” amazing the power a nice bit of skirt can have over a man, eh?
Wonder if this blog is going to go the way of Fun Bobby from Friends?
bozzley- you can be so cruel, I’ll be crying myself to sleep now. I hope you’re happy.
Woai- it’s got great food and a great table footy, what’s not to like?
Liam- you had this same crazy idea about hypocrisy when I bought a simple headache remedy in Korea. I think it’s some kind of advanced paranoia, maybe you need some help. Anyhoo I keep telling you, it wasn’t even her idea- some bigger boys made me do it.
James, can we have a picture of the top of your head? I want to see the imprint of Emma’s thumb.
Don’t take it the wrong way mate, your figure is in fine fettel and who needs hair anyway?
ask Nick Groome about giving up the sauce. He was well proud of his ‘2 week self-imposed booze ban.’
Well Creegan your self imposed beer fast has inspired me somewhat, your musings over what actually happens during those evening hours got me wondering and I decided to give it a try myself for the last couple of days, what a complete waste of time, let me tell you more;
Instead of drinking pints as normal I downgraded to pints of shandy, I had to drink 16 pints of the stuff last night to get anywhere near hammered, and what’s more I couldn’t stop going to the toilet and it cost me a fortune, that’s the last time I try one of your nonsensical ideas.
Well Creegan your self imposed beer fast has inspired me somewhat, your musings over what actually happens during those evening hours got me wondering and I decided to give it a try myself for the last couple of days, what a complete waste of time, let me tell you more;
Instead of drinking pints as normal I downgraded to pints of shandy, I had to drink 16 pints of the stuff last night to get anywhere near hammered, and what’s more I couldn’t stop going to the toilet and it cost me a fortune, that’s the last time I try one of your nonsensical ideas.
And it’s made me post things twice