There comes a time in a man’s life where he must give up the thing he loves, in order that it may come back to him with a passion stronger than ever. It is for this, amongst other reasons that I have decided to give up the booze for a period encompassing 04:00 July 1st 2007AD, to 19:30 July 20th 2007AD. I know, I know- that’s one hell of a long time (sorry for the swear, it’s to drive home the point)- but I feel like it’s somewhat overdue, and this is as good a time as any.I hatched this idea a few weeks ago when I worked out that I’ve been drunk somewhere between 1,000 and 1,500 times in my life so far and the thought of going without drink makes my teeth sweat. Scientists have a name for someone who can’t stop drinking (I won’t say it, it’s an ugly word), and latest research has shown that these people don’t always lead fulfilling and horrific-motorcycle-death-plunge free lives.To wit, I see the following Benefits To Giving Up Drinking:

  • I might lose a pound or two. A blind masseur told me I was fat last week- which is a new low. If I want to get into those Ice White Speedos at the beach I’ll need to trim an inch or two off my generous belly. (By the by, it’s OK to hit a blind guy if they’re not wearing the dark glasses right?)
  • I’ll have more time to spend on my figurines and puzzles. I bought a wooden Kingfisher construction kit at the “Everything for 2 RMB” shop last month and haven’t even started on it [reading that again, I can hardly believe that it's actually true]
  • I’m actually, finally curious to find out what happens between the hours of 6am-2pm on Saturday and Sundays. Do all of the old people and parents with young kids run around shouting “Ours! It’s all ours!”?
  •  The next time someone tells me I have an alcohol problem, I can throw this brief period of abstinence in their stupid face. This goes for Judges, Priests, lollipop ladies, the security guards at Toys’R'Us, those holier-than-thou homeless guys down at the docks- anyone who gives me grief

As well as the numerousish benefits above, there are a few things that don’t involve drinking which I enjoy doing these days:

  • Emma
  • Riding around on my bike, giving the thumbs up to market vendors
  • Eating pizza in my underwear
  • (oh come on Emma, that was funny!)
  • Flying kites
  • Taking photos
  • (alright fine, I’ll take it down later)
  • Going to fancy restaurants and/or KFC

So yeah- Saturday’s my last day on the pop. Scary.