I was no good at drinking this weekend, Friday night I was home by 2am, Saturday by a bit after midnight. For future reference I should remember that a jug of JD and Coke doesn’t sit well on top of Guinness and a steak sandwich, and staying up until 8am chatting on MSN messenger isn’t the best way to set yourself up for a productive day.

By rights, Saturday should have been a total wash-out, but my friend Emma- oh OK then, my girlfriend Emma- came round after she finished her morning lessons (teaching, she’s not a 14 year old schoolgirl) so I couldn’t really just lie in bed all day. Our first stop was at the fabric market where I’d ordered a pair of linen suits. I was dead chuffed with them, the buttons on the sleeves actually fasten, the lining is as smooth as polyester silk and although one jacket only has one arm and the other has three, that’s a an average of two per jacket. Not bad for a total bill of 700RMB (47 squid) I’m sure you’ll agree.

After that we walked through some crazy markets and backstreets in the old town / Bund area. Even though Emma is as English as cucumber sandwiches, she speaks pretty good Chinese which is a lot of fun. You get a lot more out of a walk down a typical Shanghai street when you’re with someone who knows the lingo

Emma- “This woman says you have very long eyelashes”
Me- “She’s right, I have”
Chinese lady - <something or other>
Emma- “She wants to know what method you used to grow them”

——————————————–

Me- “Go on, ask him what that meat is”
Emma- <something or other>
Chinese guy- <something or other>
Emma- “It’s a pig’s ear. And he wants to know if we want to buy any”
Me- “Umm tell him we’re full!”
Emma- <something>
Him <something else>
Emma- “He says ‘If you’re tall you’ll fit it in‘!”

Made me laugh anyway.

Enough cultural insight, here’s some lads outside Bonbon that were so drunk they’d wet themselves.

two wet pants